Weekend Wrap up...

I know, I know, it is a little early for a weekend wrap up, but figured since I had some down time I might as well. Friday started off rather slow. I thought it would be an easy day, with no appointments until 4:30pm. Apparently I was wrong. We got a call around 3pm from another tutor. She had scheduled a meeting/interview with Mike while I was gone, and today was the day. It was scheduled for 3:30pm, and we had to leave for Nick's chiropractor around 4pm. Ok. Not.So.Bad. She did not make it here until nearly 4pm. I met her in the driveway on the way to the chiro. Nick was not happy about this derailment of plans, and cried and covered his face to show his displeasure. We talked to her for a little bit, and she gave us a resume to look at. I then jetted off to the chiropractor, missing our 4:30 time by about 10 minutes. I hate being late. We were still allowed to see the chiro. and Nick got some adjustments. When we got home, Mike and I held a "family meeting" on the back porch to discuss the tutor situation. Mike thought she might be over qualified and more set in her ways since she is a little older and more educated than his others. If there is one thing we have learned, it is that with Nick it is better to be more flexible in ones' thinking. His current tutors have generally followed our lead with what works for Nick-and he was concerned that an older, more educated(not saying that education is wrong) adult might be a little more 'set' than the younger types. We came to the decision to try it out, and see how she works with Nick. It took him about a month to come around to the other tutors, and I did not want to base an assumption on a simple 5-10 minute meeting. We really had no time to actually talk to her in depth about Nick. Now the problem was trying to schedule everything.

Saturday started off at 9am with swimming lessons for both kiddos. Actually, Nicks' was more or less just playing in the water with other special needs kiddos-but I do think there might be some actual learning going on. If not, who the hell cares, it gives us a chance to be social and not have anyone judge or laugh at my little man. All the kids in that class are just adorable anyway. Then, at 10am it was time for Michael's swim lesson. That went on until 11am-at which point we came back home, ate some lunch and then it was time to head to playgroup. This was comedy hour. Two YMCA staff members not well versed in autism in a big gym with two autistic kids. Sit back and marvel at the mayhem. Nick alone gives in-experienced adults a run for their money...imagine times two! There are also 4 sets of doors in said gymnasium-and for those that know Nick; that is enough said. The whole hour was spent with Nick flying by us laughing, and an exhausted staff member chasing behind him. By the time 6 weeks is up, they should be Olympic class sprinters. It is very entertaining to think people in their 20's are having a very hard time catching a six year old. People tell us "don't worry, we can catch him" and to them we say "Okay, GO!" Then is when they say "Man he is FAST!" Yup. We know.

Saturday and Sunday evenings are hockey practice. Not much went on then other than hockey. Which, we have to start getting ready for now, so I have to cut this short. More pictures to follow later.

Home Sweet Home....

I am posting this from HOME!! I got home around 1:30pm yesterday afternoon and have been going non-stop. I have a little time now to get on here and post before I have to pick up hubby and Michael at the movies. They went to see "The Last Airbender", and I am just hanging out at home with Nick. I dived right back into Nick World yesterday. By the time we got home one of Nick's tutors was here and we all went on a scheduled play date with another little boy with autism (and his tutor). His mother came also, and while the kids 'played' with their tutors, us grown ups got a chance to talk some. After all that, it was almost time to take Michael to his dance lessons at the YMCA. Dance was finished at 7:15pm. Then it was time to pick up some dinner, give each boy their meds, give them baths, and settle down to bed. This morning I was up at 8am. Nick told me he wanted some milk,and a few minutes later he said he wanted waffles. Michael was already up playing a new computer game, and said he was not hungry. Today we went and renewed the Jeep registration, then I dropped hubby and Michael off at the movies. Tonight I am being told is skating night, so we will be at the ice rink. Will try to see if I can post some pictures later. That's all for now.

Almost Home

I have just a few more days left here in Colorado. School has been challenging at times, but have gotten through it. I talk to the boys almost daily....I cringe to see our phone bill when I get home LOL. Nick and Michael have been having a good time with daddy, and they sound like they have been keeping themselves busy with activities; which of course, I will be diving right into when I get home. Guess I am going to try to enjoy my last quiet weekend ;)

Nick has gotten used to the zamboni now and no longer screams when it comes out to clean the ice-he just likes to make sure that it does not leave the rink and come after him :) Constant exposure sometimes helps with those things, but has not worked for the vacuum or microwave...go figure. Nick even will talk to me on the phone. Although his conversations revolve around making sure we are not going to vacuum or use the microwave :) LOL. Just gotta love him.

Michael is helping daddy out with the house cleaning and yard work. Both of them are now enrolled in swim lessons. Michael has also started a hip-hop class and he told me yesterday his teacher told him he was his favorite student. He still loves his skating, and is getting to be pretty good at it. Next weekend will be my first weekend dealing with all the summer stuff...they have swim lessons starting at 9am! Oh well, I will be with all my boys again and be loving it.

Feel so 'out of it'

That is one thing that I hate about being away from my boys. I feel so out of touch with them. I am now officially the parent of a junior high schooler, and a special needs first grader. Michael did get accepted into a prep school for his sixth year, so that is good. And since I have been away, their summer schedule has slowly filled up. Michael and Nick are both taking swim lessons at the YMCA. Although Nick will be in a special ed class. Michael is also taking dance and tae-kwon-do. Add that to the weekends when he is at the skating rink. By the way, he has learned to skate backwards and scored his very first goal in ice-hockey practice. He was so proud of himself-so I hear. Nick is quite the ladies man it turns out. He gets all kinds of girls to spin and twirl in front of him(laughing uncontrollably at them as they do so), and gets them to give him their little smushy/sticky wall climbers. He can do all this without saying a word....just merely laughing at them and having a good time (although, daddy does help to point them in the right direction of said blonde boy laughing).

I just feel so out of the whole autism world. In some ways it is a nice break, but in others it just feels blah. It is like almost like a big void in my life right now. Autism is such a huge chunk of my life, that I almost feel 'naked' without it. Imagine my surprise when a classmate of mine here asked for some pointers on dealing with an autistic boy that her hubby was providing daycare for! Yes! I am in my world again! I started rattling off all kinds of things about Nick and some of the ways we have helped him, and some of the ways that others have helped. I let her know about tactile stimulation(as in how stickers help Nick calm down by just feeling the stickiness over and over), how sensitive his senses are, and how he needs to be warned when something different is about to happen or something loud. I don't know how much it helped her hubby, but I know she seemed to think it made sense.

Anyway, going to go for now. Probably will not post again until I am back home on the 15th.

Update....

I am out of town until the 15th of July, so there may not be any blog posts until then. I will however still be on facebook if you want to keep up. Hubby and the boys are back home, so I don't have much daily contact other than a telephone call a few minutes a day. What I can tell you is that hubby took Nick to his Chiropractor last Friday and he said some things were brought up by the Doctor. One of them being a heavy metals test and possible spray to chelate them from his system. Not sure what we will decide on that yet, but it is a possibility. Michael had hockey practice today and other than that, no big news. Not sure how many posts I will do while I am away, but just so you all know, we are still here. Still getting through whatever comes our way.

Weekend Wrap up...

We had a very busy weekend but very fun as well. Saturday we woke up and had our normal breakfast (two waffles for Nick, cereal for Michael). The boys and I went to the BX so that I could pick up some last minute items for my uniforms, and I picked up uniforms from the alterations shop. We then came home and ate lunch. After that, we headed down to Charlies' Safari to meet up with a friend of mine and her boys. Mike came along for this one. He was curious as to what the place was, and recognised that I would need help with Nick. I was glad that he came along! I mean, I normally AM glad that he comes along with us, but this time I could not have done without him. We get to Charlies and Nick cannot stand all the noise. We figured this might happen. Mike volunteers to go outside with Nick so I could stay and talk as well as watch Michael.

After sitting and talking for a bit, I thought it would be nice to get some sodas, but my wallet was in the car-and Mike had the keys.I called him on my friends cell phone and he told me they were in one of the stores next to Charlies. We met up outside and he wanted to show me what they found in the furniture store.

Nick fell in love with this chair! It spun around and around. He stayed on this thing for at least 10 minutes. We then toured the whole furniture store with Nick 'testing' all the furniture. He could really get a job doing that-he put that stuff through its' paces. After the fun furniture store, I then went back to Charlies to get our drinks and resume talking with my friend. About 20 minutes later, Mike comes back in with Nick. But this is different...Nick is not screaming. We try once again to get him to go on the inflatable jump castles. Low and behold he DID! Turned out that my friends' youngest boy was a great peer model for Nick! This is what we saw the rest of our visit:






Thanks B. for being such a wonderful friend to Nick!
We ended up going out to eat afterwards and just had a really awesome Saturday! Nick ate Pasta Marinara at Ruby Tuesday's, and mommy enjoyed a chocolate shake. We left there stuffed to the gills!
And today....


We signed the big boy up for Hockey. He has ice skating lessons starting in June-and then; ice hockey. Good thing we have awesome health insurance...

Our Newest Project...

This is what we have been working on for the last couple of weeks. It took a while to figure out the program and exactly what we could do with it. My computer kept freezing up everytime we would come close to finishing it, which was very frustrating. However, now that we have the trial version complete, we wanted to see what others would think. Nick watched it tonight after it was complete, and he loved it. He was repeating quite a few of the words. He knows most of the items already, but now we have added the words to what he likes as well as my voice saying the letters and words. Things like Sesame Street or even some of the other videos we have for autie kids were just too confusing for him. Nick does not get much out of characters, and even simple story lines are lost on him. So, we made our own. And will continue to do so because he really did enjoy it. Let me know if you all like it...

Wordless Wednesday...

Busy Weekend...

First we had this....



Which means some of these came over....




They brought some of these...



Which led to a few of these...




Today we did a lot of this....


Which led to a little bit of this...



We then went and bought some more of these...


Then it was time for *ahem* this....


Finally, it was time for this...


And we think you are weird too...

My Boys...

They are like my air. I need them in order to survive. They are a package deal. I cannot have one without the other. They are exactly how they were meant to be. No, things are not exactly 'perfect' in some people's eyes, but they are perfect to me. They are MY boys.

A Look....

Today I called his name and he LOOKED at me, and waited for me to tell him to do something. Today, he was snorting like a pig--on purpose. Today, he went to daddy and said "goodnight" when I did not even tell him to do so. He was there. He told me he wanted applesauce-while he looked right at me.

Had another chiropractic appointment with Nick today. He is getting better. Said hi to the receptionist(with just verbal direction from me), said hi to Tutor on his own. Nick got a few more adjustments, in which he stayed completely still again following docs orders. In fact, Nick got onto the table on his very own. I asked the doctor what it is exactly he is doing. He told me he is removing/adjusting what Nick's body tells him to. Today he told me he removed some emotional thing that he said happened to Nick when he was three years old. He said he could even tell me the date if I wanted. I said No, but I was wondering what it was exactly. He said there is more to chiropractic care than just adjusting the spine. He is treating the entire central nervous system, and if need be, we can even go further in our treatments and start detoxing with the aide of his nutritionist on staff. He is pleased so far with the positive results he is getting. Maybe he is getting these from Nick during adjustments? I do know that we are seeing some results after his adjustments. Last Friday, his tutor graphed his Requesting at 80% during their session--the highest it has ever been. But, apparently school is still seeing the 'old' Nick-running off, slamming doors, etc. Which leads me to wonder-why the drastic difference in settings? Could it be that Nick knows the teachers are outnumbered and therefor he just goes for it?? Could it be that he suppresses his desires for such things while at home and lets loose at school?? Not exactly sure how to fix this problem. Maybe he is frustrated because he thinks they treat him like a baby?? How many years can one really stand going over the ABC's? When he was bored during therapy he would just stare out the window and his therapists were having trouble reaching him. We told them to challenge him with different things, and low and behold, they were shocked with what he knew! Maybe the same is now happening at school? Is he tired of the same old curriculum he has been getting since he was three?? One has to wonder.

Notes....

I was asked to keep track of any changes in Nick since we started with the chiropractor; so here goes.

The first visit went well. Nick really enjoyed it and seemed very at ease with everything-despite being a little anxious at first. After we got home, Nick was very verbal and laughing and playing outside. Mike asked me what I did to him to make him like that. I said 'Nothing'. Suddenly, Nick passed some gas and headed back to his room stating 'I need a diaper'.

Yesterday, while working with his tutor, Nick's verbal requests were at an all time high. 80%. He has never been that high since starting the program last summer. His tutor showed me the graphs they have been charting of all of his undesirable behaviors. They have dropped. This was also since starting the Risperdal. His slamming doors/hitting/banging have gone down considerably. I have not seem him bang his head in two weeks. Meltdowns have decreased, and the ones he does have he is easily consoled and can get a hold of himself much quicker. Last night in the bath, not only did he play in the tub-be he did not want to get out. He did not scream-but he kept going back every chance he got to get in the water. This is a rather new development-and a welcome one.

Today was his second visit. He said "hi" to the receptionist with some prompts, but left out the "SAY" as in "SAY hi". He simply said "hi". We practiced exchanging some social chit chat, and his responses were the same. He left out the "SAY" in all of them. For someone whose speech is largely echolalic, this is a step in the right direction. He smiled at the doctor, and did not distribute much anxiety this time around. He sat still when the doctor told him to, and even gave the man a high five. Tonight as I was reading him a book; he did hit me. Whether he meant to or not, I stopped and said "What do you say?" and he said "sorry". Usually he would repeat "What do you say?" or "say sorry". But not this time! He answered right away with the correct response!

Have we finally found the right combination?? Nick is getting his personality back. There is no way to describe how this feels. Like we are on top of the world right now.

No School Today.......

At least, not for Nick. They have a half day today which means that his schedule did a flip-flop. Literally. ON half days, someone had the bright idea to have the kindergartners flip their schedules around. For example: Nick is in the PM kindergarten class-which means his school starts at noon. On some half days he is actually off. However, on half days like today-he was supposed to be at school at 8am. Well, the school does not tell the transportation people this(Brillaint huh??) and it is confusing for all to say the least. Not to mention, it completely disrupts the whole morning routine we have established since the beginning of the school year. I swear, sometimes it seems the 'typical' people need to start using their brains.

Nick has another chiropractor appointment today though-so being out of school is actually convenient. We will find out what they saw on X-rays and develop a treatment plan. Not sure if they will do his first adjustment today or have us come back, but I am excited to be doing something. It might help, it might not. But we will try anyway. His appointment is at 4pm, and depending on what is going on tonight I might do another post to update what happened. I told Nick last night that there would be "no bus" today and that he would be going to the doctor. He started to get a little anxious and started whimpering. He then promptly told me "Goodnight Nick". :)

Update: Nick had his very first 'adjustment' today. Nothing big. Just more of a vibrating hammer type thing that was used on different parts of his head,neck,and spine. He seemed to really enjoy it. Nothing out of the normal as far as behavior wise so far. Although, I will be keeping track of his progress. We have another appointment on Friday, and the doc wants to see him at least twice a week. So, that will be another thing on top of everything else we are doing. I swear, will it never end? Of course I already know the answer to that question.

Why Such a Stigma??

As if this life with autism was not enough, it seems that there is a huge stigma (ok, not SEEMS, there is) added to moms that have to use medications. We are looked down upon, criticized for our decisions(did not go GFCF, did not try the right supplements, gave up too soon) even more harshly than others. Let me just get one thing straight. I never, ever, thought that 2 years ago my son would be on medication. We DID cut out diary, ate organic food, gave him Cod Liver Oil, DHEA supplements, vitamins, we tried clay baths to help him 'detox', and I am sure I am missing some other stuff we did. We even tried some supplements that were supposed to calm him and make him think clearer. What happened? He went psychotic. He was WORSE. He peeled off the baseboard in the bathroom, he tore through the drywall, peeled off the paint, and destroyed nearly every door in our old house from the constant banging. Despite all of the above mentioned treatments, he was still non-verbal autistic. The only supplement that offered reprieve was his melatonin-at least he could sleep through the night. However, as time wore on and he got older, his stimming got worse, and it seemed like we would have these manic episodes that would last days. I don't think anyone living in our house at the time of these episodes would doubted us. It was horrible. It was not a decision we took lightly-and I don't think ANY parent does. But, not all autism is 'recovered' through special diets or supplements, and we are doing what has worked best to date. That does not mean that we are now totally resigned to medications to help-we are not. We are still pursuing chiropractic care, and possibly some other forms of natural therapy. I am trying to go with what Nick really likes-and that is pressure. We are in the mindset of doing what works for my son. Why is there such a stigma with meds? If it works, then it works for that child. Moms should not begrudge other moms for doing what works for their kids. We already have enough to deal with, we should all be supporting one another in this journey-not tearing each other apart.

Ok, off my soapbox now. We had a great weekend (and this post was NOT directed at anyone-just general) and I think we even made some new friends! Nick spent all day outside today. Barefoot, and just immersed in doing whatever came to his little mind. He was happy, and we heard lots of his silly talk. I went to Barnes and Noble to order the new book by Susan Senator. She was nice enough to include some stories from families, and we just happened to be one of them. The book is called "The Autism Mom's Survival Guide". Once I get it, I will post some more about it. I loved her first book "Making Peace with Autism". That was the first book where I could relate. Up til then, the kids I had read about all appeared to be higher functioning, or offered hope of miracle like 'cures' through special diets and such. This book was REAL. She was telling it how it really is, and how she finally came to accept autism. I often wonder why these talk shows cannot have someone like her on them? I am sick of certain celebrities being looked upon as autism experts. I would love to see someone like Dr. Temple Grandin, or Susan Senator, or Donna Williams, or Dr. Simon-Barron-Cohen....just ONCE! Try giving those people some quality air time...not those celebrities who shall remain nameless.

Wow, this turned into some sort of a vent! I am watching my darling 6yr old propel himself around the dining room table by sitting in his little Tonka Dumptruck. He is flapping his ears and holding a Spiderman sticker, and jibbering to himself. He is happy, and so are we. Isn't that what it is all about?

Breathing Again.......

I think it is safe to say that for the better part of the last 9 months or so, we have been under some sort of siege with Nick's moods. Outbursts were becoming ever more frequent and aggressive. He could go from happy-to pissed off in the blink of an eye. There were many days when this happened every hour, every 30 minutes, all day long. Sometimes we knew what set him off, sometimes we didn't-and would wander around asking him "what happened?" only to be slapped, or have something hurled in our direction. I was always afraid it would strike while driving and he would launch his sippy cup. That was my fear always when he had a drink in the car. Or even a toy. Or sometimes even Nick himself. He would be in his room, curled up on the floor of his closet screaming. He would be completely unable to function, and this could go on for hours. Days like this his therapy would consist of just trying to snap him out of it. His therapists were mainly just trying to control the damage. He banged his head, hit himself, bit himself, hit his therapists, pinched them, screamed, shouted, slammed doors, overturned chairs, you name it. To see him like this was heartbreaking. Then, after a few days, he would be completely the opposite. Saying words, eye-contact, joint attention, laughs, smiles, everything. Then, suddenly a few days later we were back to hell.

I came to the conclusion that we needed more help. I wanted Nick to be comfortable in his own skin. I wanted it to just stop. I contacted his doctor. He had not seen Nick in more than a year, and I explained to him all that was happening. He gave us a prescription for Risperdal. A very low dose (.05mg), just to take his 'edge' off. We saw results immediately.

-instead of stimming all through dinner; Nick was able to sit at the table and just eat like the rest of us.
-his toe-walking and stiffening have decreased dramatically; my baby is no longer stuck in a stimming cycle. He still stims, but he is relaxed.
-little things like me driving him to school used to cause him so much anxiety that neither of us enjoyed it. Yesterday, he only whimpered twice.
-he talks more.
-he is happy, and he is comfortable.
-Our stress has decreased dramatically as well. We can breathe again. My shoulders and neck no longer hurt.
-We are enjoying our son.
-Significantly less yelling and tension in the household.
That is worth it. To have a Happy Home. A peaceful home.

Mommy's Exhausted...

7:30 a.m.: Woke up. Funny really as I don't even remember falling asleep. My mind is already racing with all the stuff that needs to be done just to get us out the door this morning for soccer. First thing I think: The laundry is still in the washer. Second thing: Must shower. Showering is good. Very good.

8a.m.: The process starts. Move laundry out of washer into the dryer. (in order to accomplish this, I must first empty the dryer...have I mentioned my disdain for laundry??) Search through dirty clothes for Michael's soccer uniform. Realize that he did not put it in the dirty clothes from last time. Oh well. At least he'll have clean underwear on right?? At least, I think.

8:30-9a.m.: Get dishes done and start preparing breakfast. Michael wants mini cinnamon buns, while Nick gets his usual of two waffles. The dog of course goes in and out at least 15 times during breakfast alone. He is old and probably forgets that he just went out, among other things.

10a.m.: Breakfast is done and I am cleaning up our morning dishes. Let the boys do whatever for a bit while I watch a little TV.

10:30a.m.: Start the process of getting Nick ready to go. Change his diaper, get his clean clothes, and brush his teeth. At six years old he still requires most of this to be done for him, although he is getting a little better at helping at least. Michael starts to slowly get his soccer uniform on. This takes a while because he is watching TV while he does it. Somedays Nick even doing stuff on his own is faster than Michael.

11a.m.: Boys and me are ready, all that remains is waking up hubby and well, he can dress himself.

By 11:15 we are out the door and headed to the soccer field. The game starts at noon, but coach wants them to be there by 11:30 to warm up.

1pm: Game is over. We are all pretty hungry by this point and stop off to get some Burger King for lunch. By 2pm Michael had to be at the Youth Center for the end of season party. So, in less than an hour the kid had a Jr whopper meal, and pizza. You'd think we never feed this child with the voracity in which he devoured the pizza. One of his coaches asks if we will be at the Easter Egg hunt the next day. I say "probably not, because our youngest does not enjoy stuff like that". She walks away clearly puzzled and most likely thinking "What little kid does not enjoy easter egg hunts?" Ummm, this kid. He would enjoy being outside, but he would not grasp the concept of hunting for brightly colored eggs. On a small scale (like our backyard), sure. Not with a gaggle of other children and their parents. Can you say "Overstimulated"? The child met his social outing quota by being schlepped to see "Reptile Man" at Michael's school earlier this week. By the end of the program, I had managed to get Nick to the front door of the cafeteria-that was it. Fortunately, as it turns out, being on the outside of a room full of snakes is socially acceptable. We were not the only ones watching from a distance. Michael however, was right in there enjoying every moment. He's used to Mommy having to stand on the outside sometimes.

3pm: We finish with the Youth Center. (I did not take Nick to this-it was just myself and Michael). I actually got to talk with some of the other parents-what a concept! Afterwards, we head to Barnes and Noble to pick up the latest book in the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series. Michael has begged for it now going on about two weeks. I caved in finally.

By 5pm we have made it home again, picked up Nick, dropped off Michael, and head to the grocery store. 6pm we are on our way back home to unload the groceries, and start something for dinner.

7pm Lasagna is cooking, and I am making Ravioli for Nick. 7:30-bath time for Nick, and by 8pm he is taking his medicine to go to bed.

By 8pm I don't know who is more tired-me, or Nick. That was my day in a nutshell. I am tired just typing it!

Screaming, Biting, Banging....Had them all this week.

Another week is coming to an end, and I must say, I am glad it is over. Not that things have been that bad, just...challenging.

Last weekend I had weekend duty at work. So, I was put on night shift for two days. Which of course, messed everyone in my house up. Not sure about your house, but in mine, if mom is not awake during normal times-then everything seems to go south very quickly. Daddy tries to handle things, and for the most part he does a good job so I guess I should not complain. But, there are just things that mommies are better at doing. And the little boys of mine know that. For simply fun, you go get daddy. For everything else, mommy is where it's at. Needless to say, Nick was discombobulated-but held it together rather well. Sunday night however, we saw some disturbing behavior. I put Nick to bed with his normal dose of melatonin, and kissed him goodnight. About an hour later I am sitting at my computer in the dining room and I hear Nick just start screaming. Unusual. Especially with melatonin. I go in there to find Nick biting himself. He sits up and proceeds to bang his head on the wall. I try to comfort him, but it is no use. He simply lashes out and slaps me. He then bangs his head again. Words can not describe how helpless you feel when your child is locked in his own mind and cannot tell you what is wrong. After more than an hour of intermittent screaming,biting,and banging (the three ING's at our house), our only conclusion was that he might have a headache. I scour the hall closet for some Tylenol-we are fresh out. Damn! By this time it is around 10pm, but I don't care. I leave Nick bundled up on the couch with daddy holding his hand and go out for the Tylenol. First store closest to our house does not have any. Damn, Damn! I then head toward a gas station a little further away, and finally see the best thing in the world to me at that time...TWO whole bottles of Children's Tylenol. I snatch one up and head home. By the time all I said and done, it is midnight before sunshine gets to bed. I was hoping it was just a fluke episode-but it has happened a few times since then. Don't know what is going on; but I am going to ask his doctor next week when we go.

Speaking of that, I actually cannot wait until Thursday. Nick's language seems to be at a boost right now, and he is doing well in his therapies. When he is able to concentrate. And is not stimming at lightning speeds. He needs some more help. The mini tramp is good for re-directing his energy-but only goes so far. He cannot relax. When he is; he simply does amazing. I have also asked his doc for a referral to a chiropractor. One of his tutors mentioned Nick to him and now the guy wants to see how he could help Nick. He is not charging us anything out of pocket-just what insurance covers. So far, he has only treated NT adults, but is interested to see if he could maybe start branching out into treating kids on the spectrum. So, Nick will be his first ASD patient. Maybe it will help Nick be more comfortable in his own skin. All I want is for my baby to be his absolute best. Like I said, Happy Nick we can deal with. I am not looking to 'cure' him, or drug him for my pleasure. We have not come to this decision lightly. This has been cropping up from the back of my mind for a year or so. Diets & Supplements just did not yield enough results.

Don't be fooled by this happy demeanor....

That is what I am having to tell myself today. Nick has been in a happy mood all day long. The weather was nice out, so hubby let him wander around in our fenced in backyard. Nick was happy as a clam. All of this talking and smiling is what has lulled us into that false sense of "all is well" in the past. This is the Nicholas I want him to be..this is the Nicholas HE wants to be. Happy, playful, talkative(even if he was repeating "Nick don't get the vacuum!" over and over :) ) asking to be tickled, coming up to us for fist pumps(which is uber cute by the way!), playing with his toys instead of thrashing about the house destroying our doors. In an instant yesterday all that was gone. Replaced with screaming, throwing toys, hitting me, and just all out losing control. I spent 30 min just sitting with him on the couch. Nick was curled up in a ball in my arms and we just sat there. I was happy that he was being cuddly, but I could have done without the screaming and throwing.

Happy days such as this tend to make me forget about the bad days. They make me think "Oh I can handle this", "It's not that bad". Then WHAMMO! We get hit with several really bad days in a row where nothing is going right. My parents did tell me that they would possibly help to buy him a squeeze machine; since he really seems to like pressure.

I took my parents to the airport yesterday morning. Had to get up at 3am in order to get to the airport by 5am. I came back home, put some mini-cinnamon buns in the oven for Michael, got him up and ready for school, then I passed out on the couch until around 11am. Not much housework got done yesterday I tell ya.

He Does What he Can

I have not posted so much lately due to us having family visiting. It has been wonderful having an extra set of hands around here to help with things around the house, as well as the kids. I now know that I could get really used to having someone like a nanny to help with things like calming Nick down from a meltdown, or tending to dinner while I get some time to do some small cleaning. Having someone who will clean up the dirty dishes after dinner while I get the kids a bath has been divine. Of course my mother did not have to do this-I did not make her; but she did it anyway just to help. We of course had plenty of time doing other things too. Taking Michael out for an afternoon; just him. He got some Legos, some new rollerblades, and we went to see the movie "Tooth Fairy". Nick also got his very own day in which he was allowed to pick out any toy he wanted. There was no apparent limit, and the kid could not have been happier. He was all smiles on his day and he KNEW it was his day. He said first thing in the morning-HAPPY.

We have one more day with them before they head back to Florida. They have been a huge support system for us regarding Nicholas. "He just does what he can" my mom says. My mom has been very supportive in getting more help for Nick. More help as in possible medication. I have been toying with this idea for a few months now. Only because I cannot find any correlation/cause for some of Nick's severe stimming/anxiety attacks. He gets very tense and just seems to go completely wild. He will be like this for a couple days, then he will be completely the opposite. When he is not this way he is doing remarkable things. Like looking at us when we call his name, following two step directions, speaking to us, requesting things from us, and just all around able to focus. When he is not like this, he is stimming so severely that it is impossible to get anything out of him. There is also a huge gap between what he does at school, and what he does at home. There is just too much difference between his "good days/bad days". I had hoped it would not resort to this; but if it will help him then it is worth looking in to. I was just hoping he would not be that severe to need medication-but I cannot deny it any longer. The calm and relaxed Nicholas is more lucid. He is happy-and he knows it. He is able to communicate better and enjoy himself. The stimmy/anxious/tense Nick does not enjoy anything. He is not "there", and is not happy. I just want something to help take his edginess off. I have been e-mailing his doctor, and we have an appointment set for 1 April.

Wish us Luck....

We are FUNKdified....

Ugh, Nick is in one of his funks. Don't know how else to describe it really. It has been going on all week. It is one of those "I am so rambunctious and in need of stimulation that I cannot sit still". No, not even for a second. He is all over the place physically as well as emotionally. One minute he is fine, the next we are on the verge of total implosion. Not even therapy was a repreive-as he pretty much could not pay attention to any of it this week. Wednesday the slightest thing would totally set him off and we were simply trying to make it to bedtime. One of those weeks where I am just trying to hold it together hour by hour. And tomorrow I got to take Funkboy to the airport to pick up family. Not enough Tylenol in the world for me right now. I have to mentally prepare myself for the stress that he will undoubtedly cause. I am taking him in his stroller-because I simply cannot handle him right now any other way than confined. Yes, it may look strange to have a six year old in a stroller-but I don't give a shit really.