Our Newest Project...

This is what we have been working on for the last couple of weeks. It took a while to figure out the program and exactly what we could do with it. My computer kept freezing up everytime we would come close to finishing it, which was very frustrating. However, now that we have the trial version complete, we wanted to see what others would think. Nick watched it tonight after it was complete, and he loved it. He was repeating quite a few of the words. He knows most of the items already, but now we have added the words to what he likes as well as my voice saying the letters and words. Things like Sesame Street or even some of the other videos we have for autie kids were just too confusing for him. Nick does not get much out of characters, and even simple story lines are lost on him. So, we made our own. And will continue to do so because he really did enjoy it. Let me know if you all like it...

Wordless Wednesday...

Busy Weekend...

First we had this....



Which means some of these came over....




They brought some of these...



Which led to a few of these...




Today we did a lot of this....


Which led to a little bit of this...



We then went and bought some more of these...


Then it was time for *ahem* this....


Finally, it was time for this...


And we think you are weird too...

My Boys...

They are like my air. I need them in order to survive. They are a package deal. I cannot have one without the other. They are exactly how they were meant to be. No, things are not exactly 'perfect' in some people's eyes, but they are perfect to me. They are MY boys.

A Look....

Today I called his name and he LOOKED at me, and waited for me to tell him to do something. Today, he was snorting like a pig--on purpose. Today, he went to daddy and said "goodnight" when I did not even tell him to do so. He was there. He told me he wanted applesauce-while he looked right at me.

Had another chiropractic appointment with Nick today. He is getting better. Said hi to the receptionist(with just verbal direction from me), said hi to Tutor on his own. Nick got a few more adjustments, in which he stayed completely still again following docs orders. In fact, Nick got onto the table on his very own. I asked the doctor what it is exactly he is doing. He told me he is removing/adjusting what Nick's body tells him to. Today he told me he removed some emotional thing that he said happened to Nick when he was three years old. He said he could even tell me the date if I wanted. I said No, but I was wondering what it was exactly. He said there is more to chiropractic care than just adjusting the spine. He is treating the entire central nervous system, and if need be, we can even go further in our treatments and start detoxing with the aide of his nutritionist on staff. He is pleased so far with the positive results he is getting. Maybe he is getting these from Nick during adjustments? I do know that we are seeing some results after his adjustments. Last Friday, his tutor graphed his Requesting at 80% during their session--the highest it has ever been. But, apparently school is still seeing the 'old' Nick-running off, slamming doors, etc. Which leads me to wonder-why the drastic difference in settings? Could it be that Nick knows the teachers are outnumbered and therefor he just goes for it?? Could it be that he suppresses his desires for such things while at home and lets loose at school?? Not exactly sure how to fix this problem. Maybe he is frustrated because he thinks they treat him like a baby?? How many years can one really stand going over the ABC's? When he was bored during therapy he would just stare out the window and his therapists were having trouble reaching him. We told them to challenge him with different things, and low and behold, they were shocked with what he knew! Maybe the same is now happening at school? Is he tired of the same old curriculum he has been getting since he was three?? One has to wonder.

Notes....

I was asked to keep track of any changes in Nick since we started with the chiropractor; so here goes.

The first visit went well. Nick really enjoyed it and seemed very at ease with everything-despite being a little anxious at first. After we got home, Nick was very verbal and laughing and playing outside. Mike asked me what I did to him to make him like that. I said 'Nothing'. Suddenly, Nick passed some gas and headed back to his room stating 'I need a diaper'.

Yesterday, while working with his tutor, Nick's verbal requests were at an all time high. 80%. He has never been that high since starting the program last summer. His tutor showed me the graphs they have been charting of all of his undesirable behaviors. They have dropped. This was also since starting the Risperdal. His slamming doors/hitting/banging have gone down considerably. I have not seem him bang his head in two weeks. Meltdowns have decreased, and the ones he does have he is easily consoled and can get a hold of himself much quicker. Last night in the bath, not only did he play in the tub-be he did not want to get out. He did not scream-but he kept going back every chance he got to get in the water. This is a rather new development-and a welcome one.

Today was his second visit. He said "hi" to the receptionist with some prompts, but left out the "SAY" as in "SAY hi". He simply said "hi". We practiced exchanging some social chit chat, and his responses were the same. He left out the "SAY" in all of them. For someone whose speech is largely echolalic, this is a step in the right direction. He smiled at the doctor, and did not distribute much anxiety this time around. He sat still when the doctor told him to, and even gave the man a high five. Tonight as I was reading him a book; he did hit me. Whether he meant to or not, I stopped and said "What do you say?" and he said "sorry". Usually he would repeat "What do you say?" or "say sorry". But not this time! He answered right away with the correct response!

Have we finally found the right combination?? Nick is getting his personality back. There is no way to describe how this feels. Like we are on top of the world right now.

No School Today.......

At least, not for Nick. They have a half day today which means that his schedule did a flip-flop. Literally. ON half days, someone had the bright idea to have the kindergartners flip their schedules around. For example: Nick is in the PM kindergarten class-which means his school starts at noon. On some half days he is actually off. However, on half days like today-he was supposed to be at school at 8am. Well, the school does not tell the transportation people this(Brillaint huh??) and it is confusing for all to say the least. Not to mention, it completely disrupts the whole morning routine we have established since the beginning of the school year. I swear, sometimes it seems the 'typical' people need to start using their brains.

Nick has another chiropractor appointment today though-so being out of school is actually convenient. We will find out what they saw on X-rays and develop a treatment plan. Not sure if they will do his first adjustment today or have us come back, but I am excited to be doing something. It might help, it might not. But we will try anyway. His appointment is at 4pm, and depending on what is going on tonight I might do another post to update what happened. I told Nick last night that there would be "no bus" today and that he would be going to the doctor. He started to get a little anxious and started whimpering. He then promptly told me "Goodnight Nick". :)

Update: Nick had his very first 'adjustment' today. Nothing big. Just more of a vibrating hammer type thing that was used on different parts of his head,neck,and spine. He seemed to really enjoy it. Nothing out of the normal as far as behavior wise so far. Although, I will be keeping track of his progress. We have another appointment on Friday, and the doc wants to see him at least twice a week. So, that will be another thing on top of everything else we are doing. I swear, will it never end? Of course I already know the answer to that question.

Why Such a Stigma??

As if this life with autism was not enough, it seems that there is a huge stigma (ok, not SEEMS, there is) added to moms that have to use medications. We are looked down upon, criticized for our decisions(did not go GFCF, did not try the right supplements, gave up too soon) even more harshly than others. Let me just get one thing straight. I never, ever, thought that 2 years ago my son would be on medication. We DID cut out diary, ate organic food, gave him Cod Liver Oil, DHEA supplements, vitamins, we tried clay baths to help him 'detox', and I am sure I am missing some other stuff we did. We even tried some supplements that were supposed to calm him and make him think clearer. What happened? He went psychotic. He was WORSE. He peeled off the baseboard in the bathroom, he tore through the drywall, peeled off the paint, and destroyed nearly every door in our old house from the constant banging. Despite all of the above mentioned treatments, he was still non-verbal autistic. The only supplement that offered reprieve was his melatonin-at least he could sleep through the night. However, as time wore on and he got older, his stimming got worse, and it seemed like we would have these manic episodes that would last days. I don't think anyone living in our house at the time of these episodes would doubted us. It was horrible. It was not a decision we took lightly-and I don't think ANY parent does. But, not all autism is 'recovered' through special diets or supplements, and we are doing what has worked best to date. That does not mean that we are now totally resigned to medications to help-we are not. We are still pursuing chiropractic care, and possibly some other forms of natural therapy. I am trying to go with what Nick really likes-and that is pressure. We are in the mindset of doing what works for my son. Why is there such a stigma with meds? If it works, then it works for that child. Moms should not begrudge other moms for doing what works for their kids. We already have enough to deal with, we should all be supporting one another in this journey-not tearing each other apart.

Ok, off my soapbox now. We had a great weekend (and this post was NOT directed at anyone-just general) and I think we even made some new friends! Nick spent all day outside today. Barefoot, and just immersed in doing whatever came to his little mind. He was happy, and we heard lots of his silly talk. I went to Barnes and Noble to order the new book by Susan Senator. She was nice enough to include some stories from families, and we just happened to be one of them. The book is called "The Autism Mom's Survival Guide". Once I get it, I will post some more about it. I loved her first book "Making Peace with Autism". That was the first book where I could relate. Up til then, the kids I had read about all appeared to be higher functioning, or offered hope of miracle like 'cures' through special diets and such. This book was REAL. She was telling it how it really is, and how she finally came to accept autism. I often wonder why these talk shows cannot have someone like her on them? I am sick of certain celebrities being looked upon as autism experts. I would love to see someone like Dr. Temple Grandin, or Susan Senator, or Donna Williams, or Dr. Simon-Barron-Cohen....just ONCE! Try giving those people some quality air time...not those celebrities who shall remain nameless.

Wow, this turned into some sort of a vent! I am watching my darling 6yr old propel himself around the dining room table by sitting in his little Tonka Dumptruck. He is flapping his ears and holding a Spiderman sticker, and jibbering to himself. He is happy, and so are we. Isn't that what it is all about?

Breathing Again.......

I think it is safe to say that for the better part of the last 9 months or so, we have been under some sort of siege with Nick's moods. Outbursts were becoming ever more frequent and aggressive. He could go from happy-to pissed off in the blink of an eye. There were many days when this happened every hour, every 30 minutes, all day long. Sometimes we knew what set him off, sometimes we didn't-and would wander around asking him "what happened?" only to be slapped, or have something hurled in our direction. I was always afraid it would strike while driving and he would launch his sippy cup. That was my fear always when he had a drink in the car. Or even a toy. Or sometimes even Nick himself. He would be in his room, curled up on the floor of his closet screaming. He would be completely unable to function, and this could go on for hours. Days like this his therapy would consist of just trying to snap him out of it. His therapists were mainly just trying to control the damage. He banged his head, hit himself, bit himself, hit his therapists, pinched them, screamed, shouted, slammed doors, overturned chairs, you name it. To see him like this was heartbreaking. Then, after a few days, he would be completely the opposite. Saying words, eye-contact, joint attention, laughs, smiles, everything. Then, suddenly a few days later we were back to hell.

I came to the conclusion that we needed more help. I wanted Nick to be comfortable in his own skin. I wanted it to just stop. I contacted his doctor. He had not seen Nick in more than a year, and I explained to him all that was happening. He gave us a prescription for Risperdal. A very low dose (.05mg), just to take his 'edge' off. We saw results immediately.

-instead of stimming all through dinner; Nick was able to sit at the table and just eat like the rest of us.
-his toe-walking and stiffening have decreased dramatically; my baby is no longer stuck in a stimming cycle. He still stims, but he is relaxed.
-little things like me driving him to school used to cause him so much anxiety that neither of us enjoyed it. Yesterday, he only whimpered twice.
-he talks more.
-he is happy, and he is comfortable.
-Our stress has decreased dramatically as well. We can breathe again. My shoulders and neck no longer hurt.
-We are enjoying our son.
-Significantly less yelling and tension in the household.
That is worth it. To have a Happy Home. A peaceful home.

Mommy's Exhausted...

7:30 a.m.: Woke up. Funny really as I don't even remember falling asleep. My mind is already racing with all the stuff that needs to be done just to get us out the door this morning for soccer. First thing I think: The laundry is still in the washer. Second thing: Must shower. Showering is good. Very good.

8a.m.: The process starts. Move laundry out of washer into the dryer. (in order to accomplish this, I must first empty the dryer...have I mentioned my disdain for laundry??) Search through dirty clothes for Michael's soccer uniform. Realize that he did not put it in the dirty clothes from last time. Oh well. At least he'll have clean underwear on right?? At least, I think.

8:30-9a.m.: Get dishes done and start preparing breakfast. Michael wants mini cinnamon buns, while Nick gets his usual of two waffles. The dog of course goes in and out at least 15 times during breakfast alone. He is old and probably forgets that he just went out, among other things.

10a.m.: Breakfast is done and I am cleaning up our morning dishes. Let the boys do whatever for a bit while I watch a little TV.

10:30a.m.: Start the process of getting Nick ready to go. Change his diaper, get his clean clothes, and brush his teeth. At six years old he still requires most of this to be done for him, although he is getting a little better at helping at least. Michael starts to slowly get his soccer uniform on. This takes a while because he is watching TV while he does it. Somedays Nick even doing stuff on his own is faster than Michael.

11a.m.: Boys and me are ready, all that remains is waking up hubby and well, he can dress himself.

By 11:15 we are out the door and headed to the soccer field. The game starts at noon, but coach wants them to be there by 11:30 to warm up.

1pm: Game is over. We are all pretty hungry by this point and stop off to get some Burger King for lunch. By 2pm Michael had to be at the Youth Center for the end of season party. So, in less than an hour the kid had a Jr whopper meal, and pizza. You'd think we never feed this child with the voracity in which he devoured the pizza. One of his coaches asks if we will be at the Easter Egg hunt the next day. I say "probably not, because our youngest does not enjoy stuff like that". She walks away clearly puzzled and most likely thinking "What little kid does not enjoy easter egg hunts?" Ummm, this kid. He would enjoy being outside, but he would not grasp the concept of hunting for brightly colored eggs. On a small scale (like our backyard), sure. Not with a gaggle of other children and their parents. Can you say "Overstimulated"? The child met his social outing quota by being schlepped to see "Reptile Man" at Michael's school earlier this week. By the end of the program, I had managed to get Nick to the front door of the cafeteria-that was it. Fortunately, as it turns out, being on the outside of a room full of snakes is socially acceptable. We were not the only ones watching from a distance. Michael however, was right in there enjoying every moment. He's used to Mommy having to stand on the outside sometimes.

3pm: We finish with the Youth Center. (I did not take Nick to this-it was just myself and Michael). I actually got to talk with some of the other parents-what a concept! Afterwards, we head to Barnes and Noble to pick up the latest book in the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series. Michael has begged for it now going on about two weeks. I caved in finally.

By 5pm we have made it home again, picked up Nick, dropped off Michael, and head to the grocery store. 6pm we are on our way back home to unload the groceries, and start something for dinner.

7pm Lasagna is cooking, and I am making Ravioli for Nick. 7:30-bath time for Nick, and by 8pm he is taking his medicine to go to bed.

By 8pm I don't know who is more tired-me, or Nick. That was my day in a nutshell. I am tired just typing it!

Screaming, Biting, Banging....Had them all this week.

Another week is coming to an end, and I must say, I am glad it is over. Not that things have been that bad, just...challenging.

Last weekend I had weekend duty at work. So, I was put on night shift for two days. Which of course, messed everyone in my house up. Not sure about your house, but in mine, if mom is not awake during normal times-then everything seems to go south very quickly. Daddy tries to handle things, and for the most part he does a good job so I guess I should not complain. But, there are just things that mommies are better at doing. And the little boys of mine know that. For simply fun, you go get daddy. For everything else, mommy is where it's at. Needless to say, Nick was discombobulated-but held it together rather well. Sunday night however, we saw some disturbing behavior. I put Nick to bed with his normal dose of melatonin, and kissed him goodnight. About an hour later I am sitting at my computer in the dining room and I hear Nick just start screaming. Unusual. Especially with melatonin. I go in there to find Nick biting himself. He sits up and proceeds to bang his head on the wall. I try to comfort him, but it is no use. He simply lashes out and slaps me. He then bangs his head again. Words can not describe how helpless you feel when your child is locked in his own mind and cannot tell you what is wrong. After more than an hour of intermittent screaming,biting,and banging (the three ING's at our house), our only conclusion was that he might have a headache. I scour the hall closet for some Tylenol-we are fresh out. Damn! By this time it is around 10pm, but I don't care. I leave Nick bundled up on the couch with daddy holding his hand and go out for the Tylenol. First store closest to our house does not have any. Damn, Damn! I then head toward a gas station a little further away, and finally see the best thing in the world to me at that time...TWO whole bottles of Children's Tylenol. I snatch one up and head home. By the time all I said and done, it is midnight before sunshine gets to bed. I was hoping it was just a fluke episode-but it has happened a few times since then. Don't know what is going on; but I am going to ask his doctor next week when we go.

Speaking of that, I actually cannot wait until Thursday. Nick's language seems to be at a boost right now, and he is doing well in his therapies. When he is able to concentrate. And is not stimming at lightning speeds. He needs some more help. The mini tramp is good for re-directing his energy-but only goes so far. He cannot relax. When he is; he simply does amazing. I have also asked his doc for a referral to a chiropractor. One of his tutors mentioned Nick to him and now the guy wants to see how he could help Nick. He is not charging us anything out of pocket-just what insurance covers. So far, he has only treated NT adults, but is interested to see if he could maybe start branching out into treating kids on the spectrum. So, Nick will be his first ASD patient. Maybe it will help Nick be more comfortable in his own skin. All I want is for my baby to be his absolute best. Like I said, Happy Nick we can deal with. I am not looking to 'cure' him, or drug him for my pleasure. We have not come to this decision lightly. This has been cropping up from the back of my mind for a year or so. Diets & Supplements just did not yield enough results.

Don't be fooled by this happy demeanor....

That is what I am having to tell myself today. Nick has been in a happy mood all day long. The weather was nice out, so hubby let him wander around in our fenced in backyard. Nick was happy as a clam. All of this talking and smiling is what has lulled us into that false sense of "all is well" in the past. This is the Nicholas I want him to be..this is the Nicholas HE wants to be. Happy, playful, talkative(even if he was repeating "Nick don't get the vacuum!" over and over :) ) asking to be tickled, coming up to us for fist pumps(which is uber cute by the way!), playing with his toys instead of thrashing about the house destroying our doors. In an instant yesterday all that was gone. Replaced with screaming, throwing toys, hitting me, and just all out losing control. I spent 30 min just sitting with him on the couch. Nick was curled up in a ball in my arms and we just sat there. I was happy that he was being cuddly, but I could have done without the screaming and throwing.

Happy days such as this tend to make me forget about the bad days. They make me think "Oh I can handle this", "It's not that bad". Then WHAMMO! We get hit with several really bad days in a row where nothing is going right. My parents did tell me that they would possibly help to buy him a squeeze machine; since he really seems to like pressure.

I took my parents to the airport yesterday morning. Had to get up at 3am in order to get to the airport by 5am. I came back home, put some mini-cinnamon buns in the oven for Michael, got him up and ready for school, then I passed out on the couch until around 11am. Not much housework got done yesterday I tell ya.

He Does What he Can

I have not posted so much lately due to us having family visiting. It has been wonderful having an extra set of hands around here to help with things around the house, as well as the kids. I now know that I could get really used to having someone like a nanny to help with things like calming Nick down from a meltdown, or tending to dinner while I get some time to do some small cleaning. Having someone who will clean up the dirty dishes after dinner while I get the kids a bath has been divine. Of course my mother did not have to do this-I did not make her; but she did it anyway just to help. We of course had plenty of time doing other things too. Taking Michael out for an afternoon; just him. He got some Legos, some new rollerblades, and we went to see the movie "Tooth Fairy". Nick also got his very own day in which he was allowed to pick out any toy he wanted. There was no apparent limit, and the kid could not have been happier. He was all smiles on his day and he KNEW it was his day. He said first thing in the morning-HAPPY.

We have one more day with them before they head back to Florida. They have been a huge support system for us regarding Nicholas. "He just does what he can" my mom says. My mom has been very supportive in getting more help for Nick. More help as in possible medication. I have been toying with this idea for a few months now. Only because I cannot find any correlation/cause for some of Nick's severe stimming/anxiety attacks. He gets very tense and just seems to go completely wild. He will be like this for a couple days, then he will be completely the opposite. When he is not this way he is doing remarkable things. Like looking at us when we call his name, following two step directions, speaking to us, requesting things from us, and just all around able to focus. When he is not like this, he is stimming so severely that it is impossible to get anything out of him. There is also a huge gap between what he does at school, and what he does at home. There is just too much difference between his "good days/bad days". I had hoped it would not resort to this; but if it will help him then it is worth looking in to. I was just hoping he would not be that severe to need medication-but I cannot deny it any longer. The calm and relaxed Nicholas is more lucid. He is happy-and he knows it. He is able to communicate better and enjoy himself. The stimmy/anxious/tense Nick does not enjoy anything. He is not "there", and is not happy. I just want something to help take his edginess off. I have been e-mailing his doctor, and we have an appointment set for 1 April.

Wish us Luck....

We are FUNKdified....

Ugh, Nick is in one of his funks. Don't know how else to describe it really. It has been going on all week. It is one of those "I am so rambunctious and in need of stimulation that I cannot sit still". No, not even for a second. He is all over the place physically as well as emotionally. One minute he is fine, the next we are on the verge of total implosion. Not even therapy was a repreive-as he pretty much could not pay attention to any of it this week. Wednesday the slightest thing would totally set him off and we were simply trying to make it to bedtime. One of those weeks where I am just trying to hold it together hour by hour. And tomorrow I got to take Funkboy to the airport to pick up family. Not enough Tylenol in the world for me right now. I have to mentally prepare myself for the stress that he will undoubtedly cause. I am taking him in his stroller-because I simply cannot handle him right now any other way than confined. Yes, it may look strange to have a six year old in a stroller-but I don't give a shit really.

I Give Up...

On the whole door thing. I know I will never understand it, can barely prevent it from happening, and it is not seeming to be going away anytime soon. Our house is locked up like Alcatraz already, and we are in need of more locks. I was attempting to get in a quick nap on Sunday-and had things all locked up. Informed hubby of my whereabouts, and everything was set. I HAVE to lock our bedroom door if I want any kind of respite. Otherwise Nick will come flying in, and start with the closet doors. As soon as I get him away from those and back in bed, he starts with the bedroom door. It becomes a vicious cycle. Closet doors, bedroom door. Closet doors, bedroom door. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. This time, I had managed to get in a few precious moments of bliss, when suddenly I heard a dreaded "WHAM!" It came again "WHAM!" Since nobody else seemed to hear this slamming noise (still don't understand that one??) I investigated. (rather loudly I might add). Nick had moved on to the garage door. This door is not exactly light. However, Nick has taken this door thing to a whole new realm recently.

.....Gas tanks have doors on them dont'cha know. See where this is going?? At first it was our gas tank. Not too bad-let him do it a couple times then "all done". Now however, little mister can spot those little gems in a nanosecond. Yesterday he ran right across the street to the minivan parked on the curb. He has also found the gas tank on his school bus. Parking lots have become a nightmare. If you are not paying attention and holding him with only half your strength, he will weezel out and run like lightening to the nearest gas tank. If you have never seen how fast lightening can run, just stop by sometime. Today it happened to be a silver compact car with its' occupants still inside it. I am sure they were wondering what that little boy was doing careening towards their car, and his frazzled mom trying in vain to regain control.
....Nana and Grandpa are going to get a workout.

Dentist

This week was a busy week. But then again, every week is busy around here it seems. Nick had his very first dental visit on Tuesday. This was a two-person effort-hubby would not get to stay home for this one. Nick was understandably anxious as we entered the building. He had to go in an elevator-something that he is leery of, but he did spectacular. Once we got to the waiting room, it was filled with other kids and Nick was already on edge. He was running everywhere. Hubby did not even get a chance to sit down. He was on full-blown Nick patrol while I filled out all the paperwork. Even so, Nick managed to get behind the counter and start slamming cabinets. The forms started with the usual; birthdate, sex, etc. But then I got to the middle portion that said something like "circle all that apply"...hmmm, Speech Delay..yes, Developmental Delay...yes, neurologic something...yes. Then I see different conditions listed on the bottom portion. Bingo. Autism was one of them. I also listed some of his sensory issues, as this office would pretty much push him into sensory hell. Then it asked something along the lines of what requests I have for my child. I found myself writing "treat him like a normal child, talk to him like any other kid and explain everything you are doing". He is autistic, but he is NOT stupid. We do not treat him like that at home, and I will be damned if anyone else treats him as such. Anyway, the time comes for us to go back into another office to discuss what brought us here in the first place. The assistant is very nice and laments on Nick's long eyelashes and big blue eyes. She is very patient and explains we will just do as much as he lets us do. If we get to a cleaning, we get to it. We will just do what we can. I already like this place.

We take Nick back to an exam room, and get him situated in the chair. He is bestowed with a small magna doodle, and a pink toothbrush that a nurse accidentally gave him. She went to try and exchange it for a blue one, but hubby told her there was no need, as Nick likes pink. Nick does not see gender specific colors, all he sees is that pink is a nice color and he likes it. Even his therapists have noticed that he just seems to like pink. The Dr comes in and takes notice of his adult tooth growing behind his baby tooth and that his mouth is very small. She says what we had been thinking all along "hmmm, that tooth will have to come out, as well as the one beside it to make more room. Otherwise, his teeth will be all bunched up. See? There's not room in here for it to grow in the right spot. He will probably need braces later on, but we will do what we can right now." Nick is squirming and crying just a bit, no where near the scale as he got his vaccines though-this is going rather well. We actually managed to get through a cleaning. Success! Hubby came out going "wow, that was alot of crying." I looked at him like he was nuts. "That??!" "Oh no, that was nothing. You should have seen him when they gave him ONE shot. Really, that was just a little whining."

We schedule his tooth extraction for a few days later. Yesterday. Yesterday Nick walked into the office like a pro. He pushed the button for the elevator, and waltzed in like saying "I got this." In the waiting room, Nick was stimmy-but happy. He jumped and flapped while looking at all the toys. One little boy was asking questions about him. Things like "why is he doing that? why does he like that?" His mom explained that he was autistic and did things differently. Hubby piped in "yes, but he knew his ABC's and could count to 30 when he was two!"
"Wow, really?" the boy said. His mom even chimed in "Yes, he is very smart isn't he?"
I did not mind that the little boy was asking questions-it is better than simply staring. And we got the opportunity to give them a little education. Mike presented them with a little card that explains autism, and told me "I carry those around everywhere; so when people stare I give them one." This is from a guy who would not even say the word AUTISM a few years ago. Now, he tells anyone who will listen.
We went back to the exam room, and this time Nick climbed into the chair by himself, and requested that the light be turned on. We gave him the sunglasses to protect his eyes, he had some tape to feel on his hands, and a magna doodle. He was ready. He barely flinched as they gave him some numbing stuff for his mouth, and a few minutes later it was time to pull. The first tooth came out in no time, as the roots had already been degraded by the adult tooth behind it. The second tooth took a little more time, a little more crying(actually, hardly crying-more like whining)and a few more minutes later it too was out. We were done. Nick walked out like nothing had happened. The funny part came on the ride home. Nick was blowing raspberries and sticking his tongue out due to the anaesthetic. The dentist was wonderful, and I would recommend them to anyone. All in all, it proved to be not such a big hassle after all.

Silence is Golden.....

It is quarter to ten pm and the house is silent. Between all of Nick's therapists, the dog, plus the boys themselves-this house is one busy place 90% of the time. Tonight was therapy and then right to soccer practice. Once practice was over, we piled in the Jeep and grabbed some B.K. for dinner. Headed to the store to buy some more baby wipes, drinks,etc. and then came home around 8pm. Everyone ate, some got baths, and story time (Nick is really big on requesting "wanna read a book"-so I cave like always). A little dose of melatonin and Nick is in dreamland inside of 30 min. Unlike 3-4 hours without.

Michael too is asleep. Tuckered right out after all that running. Oh how I love soccer season for that very reason. Even the dog is passed out. YAY Me!

Much Ado About Nicholas....

This weekend was all about Nick. 6 years ago on Feb 12, a beautiful baby boy was born. Around this date 4 years ago, that same beautiful boy was diagnosed with autism. It has been a roller-coaster ride ever since. We have had lots of "on the job" training-as no one can prepare you for life with autism. We have learned a lot of things on the fly. We have come a long way as individuals, as well as a family. Nick turned six on Friday. Saturday I took Nick to Toys R Us for a day of spoiling. I originally was not going to take him simply because I wanted everything to be a surprise. Mike insisted that Nick go along.
"Let him pick out what HE likes, not what YOU think he would like." I was kind of miffed at this, as I like to think that I KNOW what Nick likes, but I listened and took Nick along.

I was pleasantly surprised at what Nick gravitated to. He did in fact like everything. Baby toys caught his attention, but I kept moving along hoping to find something that was more age appropriate. A part of Nick still likes the baby toys, and I get torn between what to buy. He is getting older, and I want toys that reflect that. It seems only respectful to him that his surroundings reflect more a kid of his age. He also seems to LIKE it. This year he picked out a cool looking dinosaur that roared and walked when you pushed a button. The age range was from 3-8yrs. We also found a mini-trampoline, and a 3D picture projector. I figured if he thinks in pictures, then by G*d he is going to have the best ones we can get. I bought all the slides that come for that projector. Soon he will be informing us about life on the African Prairie.
We then went to Safeway to pick up a birthday cake. This is where autism can strike out of the blue. We walked up to the entrance, and Nick starts to pull back. He is resistant to going in. I tell him it is ok, and we are going to get his cake. He complies, trusting what I say. But he quickly gets overloaded and a meltdown is ensuing. We have learned throughout the years to become good at detecting what his triggers are. I quickly realize what is setting him off. There are thousands of helium filled balloons all with bright colors,and a whole forest of colored flowers filling the air with their scents. All of this at once is bombarding Nick's senses and he quickly covers his eyes and starts screaming. I wheel him through in record speed and am able to avoid a full-blown meltdown. But that was still not before we drew a few stares from clueless shoppers. I pay no attention to them, as they do not have any comprehension of just how close we had come to a scene much worse-and they would be amazed at this mommas quick response. We buy the cake and here I am having to wheel Nick through this sensory hell again in order to get to the car. This time however, I am prepared. I prep him by saying "Ok Nick, we have to go this way to get to the car. It will just be a minute, and we go to the car. It will be alright." As I say this, he is already covering his eyes again, but I just keep chanting "It's ok..almost done." Then as we exit I announce "See, we are all done now. We go to the car." Nick takes his hands away from his eyes, and all is well. Smiley boy is back again.
Nick also got several garden pinwheels from our former neighbor. She remembered he liked those and had no qualms about spoiling him with tons of them. We also bought a German language CD program. Maybe he can learn his dad's first language-since he seems to have the ability to pick up and repeat multiple languages. It also pairs things with pictures. We celebrated his birthday last night with a simple family party. We all sang "happy birthday" and Nick smiled that darling little smile of his as if to say "I feel so loved right now".

As Temple Grandin would say "Different, Not Less."

Weekend plans....

This is our first weekend for soccer. Michael has a game tomorrow at noon. After that I am thinking of either hitting the gym or going for a run-depending on the weather. Sunday we might have a little party for Nick-his parties are never very big affairs as he does not enjoy a whole bunch of people. A simple cake and some gifts will do just fine with him. Other than that, not much going on at all. Just the normal weekend chores of grocery shopping and housecleaning. We are also watching the Olympics. Funny to think such a big event is going on only 4 hours north of us. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Just a few questions to ask some of these companies....

1) Can you please make a 'noiseless' microwave? We would actually love to use ours with no screaming from the boy.

2) Can you make potty seats big enough for a nearly 6yr old who has a very skinny butt? One that won't smoosh his manhood?

3) And while we are at it; can you also make a noiseless dishwasher? Not even the so called "quiet" ones are truly quiet. We should know. Our kid has supersonic hearing.

4) Whatever happened to the "Gerber Little Flakes" cereal?? That was the only effing cereal the boy would eat. With no screaming. Now we have been forced into the unknown and I am not sure I can mentally handle that right now.

5) Could we also get some pediasure that won't give him diarrhea?? When you have one of 'those' weeks (and all you ASD moms know 'those' weeks) it is a real toss-up between nutrition and stools. Stools has won everytime-because no one in our house wants to change a weeks worth of loose, runny, crapola.

6) Can you please make items that are GF/CF/SF a little more affordable????? I mean, without all that extra crap in there-why is it so expensive?? My brain says it should be cheaper...but that's just me. Isn't rice more abundant than say..cows?

7) And why the eff do public toilets have to flush so damm LOUD?? Hard to potty train the kid when the simple act of flushing the darn thing sends him out of his mind. All thanks to that super-duper hearing of his.

I would also like to thank the following companies for their brilliant products:
Safety First: Lovely light switch cover. No more masking tape.
First Years: The BEST damm baby gates EVER. They might just be indestructable. But you have to get the ones that bolt into the wall. Nothing else worked. Saved us from a nervous breakdown due to constant cabinet slamming.
Step2: Best toy kitchen. I have seen this at many an ASD house. Something about those darned cabinets!