Dentist

This week was a busy week. But then again, every week is busy around here it seems. Nick had his very first dental visit on Tuesday. This was a two-person effort-hubby would not get to stay home for this one. Nick was understandably anxious as we entered the building. He had to go in an elevator-something that he is leery of, but he did spectacular. Once we got to the waiting room, it was filled with other kids and Nick was already on edge. He was running everywhere. Hubby did not even get a chance to sit down. He was on full-blown Nick patrol while I filled out all the paperwork. Even so, Nick managed to get behind the counter and start slamming cabinets. The forms started with the usual; birthdate, sex, etc. But then I got to the middle portion that said something like "circle all that apply"...hmmm, Speech Delay..yes, Developmental Delay...yes, neurologic something...yes. Then I see different conditions listed on the bottom portion. Bingo. Autism was one of them. I also listed some of his sensory issues, as this office would pretty much push him into sensory hell. Then it asked something along the lines of what requests I have for my child. I found myself writing "treat him like a normal child, talk to him like any other kid and explain everything you are doing". He is autistic, but he is NOT stupid. We do not treat him like that at home, and I will be damned if anyone else treats him as such. Anyway, the time comes for us to go back into another office to discuss what brought us here in the first place. The assistant is very nice and laments on Nick's long eyelashes and big blue eyes. She is very patient and explains we will just do as much as he lets us do. If we get to a cleaning, we get to it. We will just do what we can. I already like this place.

We take Nick back to an exam room, and get him situated in the chair. He is bestowed with a small magna doodle, and a pink toothbrush that a nurse accidentally gave him. She went to try and exchange it for a blue one, but hubby told her there was no need, as Nick likes pink. Nick does not see gender specific colors, all he sees is that pink is a nice color and he likes it. Even his therapists have noticed that he just seems to like pink. The Dr comes in and takes notice of his adult tooth growing behind his baby tooth and that his mouth is very small. She says what we had been thinking all along "hmmm, that tooth will have to come out, as well as the one beside it to make more room. Otherwise, his teeth will be all bunched up. See? There's not room in here for it to grow in the right spot. He will probably need braces later on, but we will do what we can right now." Nick is squirming and crying just a bit, no where near the scale as he got his vaccines though-this is going rather well. We actually managed to get through a cleaning. Success! Hubby came out going "wow, that was alot of crying." I looked at him like he was nuts. "That??!" "Oh no, that was nothing. You should have seen him when they gave him ONE shot. Really, that was just a little whining."

We schedule his tooth extraction for a few days later. Yesterday. Yesterday Nick walked into the office like a pro. He pushed the button for the elevator, and waltzed in like saying "I got this." In the waiting room, Nick was stimmy-but happy. He jumped and flapped while looking at all the toys. One little boy was asking questions about him. Things like "why is he doing that? why does he like that?" His mom explained that he was autistic and did things differently. Hubby piped in "yes, but he knew his ABC's and could count to 30 when he was two!"
"Wow, really?" the boy said. His mom even chimed in "Yes, he is very smart isn't he?"
I did not mind that the little boy was asking questions-it is better than simply staring. And we got the opportunity to give them a little education. Mike presented them with a little card that explains autism, and told me "I carry those around everywhere; so when people stare I give them one." This is from a guy who would not even say the word AUTISM a few years ago. Now, he tells anyone who will listen.
We went back to the exam room, and this time Nick climbed into the chair by himself, and requested that the light be turned on. We gave him the sunglasses to protect his eyes, he had some tape to feel on his hands, and a magna doodle. He was ready. He barely flinched as they gave him some numbing stuff for his mouth, and a few minutes later it was time to pull. The first tooth came out in no time, as the roots had already been degraded by the adult tooth behind it. The second tooth took a little more time, a little more crying(actually, hardly crying-more like whining)and a few more minutes later it too was out. We were done. Nick walked out like nothing had happened. The funny part came on the ride home. Nick was blowing raspberries and sticking his tongue out due to the anaesthetic. The dentist was wonderful, and I would recommend them to anyone. All in all, it proved to be not such a big hassle after all.

Silence is Golden.....

It is quarter to ten pm and the house is silent. Between all of Nick's therapists, the dog, plus the boys themselves-this house is one busy place 90% of the time. Tonight was therapy and then right to soccer practice. Once practice was over, we piled in the Jeep and grabbed some B.K. for dinner. Headed to the store to buy some more baby wipes, drinks,etc. and then came home around 8pm. Everyone ate, some got baths, and story time (Nick is really big on requesting "wanna read a book"-so I cave like always). A little dose of melatonin and Nick is in dreamland inside of 30 min. Unlike 3-4 hours without.

Michael too is asleep. Tuckered right out after all that running. Oh how I love soccer season for that very reason. Even the dog is passed out. YAY Me!

Much Ado About Nicholas....

This weekend was all about Nick. 6 years ago on Feb 12, a beautiful baby boy was born. Around this date 4 years ago, that same beautiful boy was diagnosed with autism. It has been a roller-coaster ride ever since. We have had lots of "on the job" training-as no one can prepare you for life with autism. We have learned a lot of things on the fly. We have come a long way as individuals, as well as a family. Nick turned six on Friday. Saturday I took Nick to Toys R Us for a day of spoiling. I originally was not going to take him simply because I wanted everything to be a surprise. Mike insisted that Nick go along.
"Let him pick out what HE likes, not what YOU think he would like." I was kind of miffed at this, as I like to think that I KNOW what Nick likes, but I listened and took Nick along.

I was pleasantly surprised at what Nick gravitated to. He did in fact like everything. Baby toys caught his attention, but I kept moving along hoping to find something that was more age appropriate. A part of Nick still likes the baby toys, and I get torn between what to buy. He is getting older, and I want toys that reflect that. It seems only respectful to him that his surroundings reflect more a kid of his age. He also seems to LIKE it. This year he picked out a cool looking dinosaur that roared and walked when you pushed a button. The age range was from 3-8yrs. We also found a mini-trampoline, and a 3D picture projector. I figured if he thinks in pictures, then by G*d he is going to have the best ones we can get. I bought all the slides that come for that projector. Soon he will be informing us about life on the African Prairie.
We then went to Safeway to pick up a birthday cake. This is where autism can strike out of the blue. We walked up to the entrance, and Nick starts to pull back. He is resistant to going in. I tell him it is ok, and we are going to get his cake. He complies, trusting what I say. But he quickly gets overloaded and a meltdown is ensuing. We have learned throughout the years to become good at detecting what his triggers are. I quickly realize what is setting him off. There are thousands of helium filled balloons all with bright colors,and a whole forest of colored flowers filling the air with their scents. All of this at once is bombarding Nick's senses and he quickly covers his eyes and starts screaming. I wheel him through in record speed and am able to avoid a full-blown meltdown. But that was still not before we drew a few stares from clueless shoppers. I pay no attention to them, as they do not have any comprehension of just how close we had come to a scene much worse-and they would be amazed at this mommas quick response. We buy the cake and here I am having to wheel Nick through this sensory hell again in order to get to the car. This time however, I am prepared. I prep him by saying "Ok Nick, we have to go this way to get to the car. It will just be a minute, and we go to the car. It will be alright." As I say this, he is already covering his eyes again, but I just keep chanting "It's ok..almost done." Then as we exit I announce "See, we are all done now. We go to the car." Nick takes his hands away from his eyes, and all is well. Smiley boy is back again.
Nick also got several garden pinwheels from our former neighbor. She remembered he liked those and had no qualms about spoiling him with tons of them. We also bought a German language CD program. Maybe he can learn his dad's first language-since he seems to have the ability to pick up and repeat multiple languages. It also pairs things with pictures. We celebrated his birthday last night with a simple family party. We all sang "happy birthday" and Nick smiled that darling little smile of his as if to say "I feel so loved right now".

As Temple Grandin would say "Different, Not Less."

Weekend plans....

This is our first weekend for soccer. Michael has a game tomorrow at noon. After that I am thinking of either hitting the gym or going for a run-depending on the weather. Sunday we might have a little party for Nick-his parties are never very big affairs as he does not enjoy a whole bunch of people. A simple cake and some gifts will do just fine with him. Other than that, not much going on at all. Just the normal weekend chores of grocery shopping and housecleaning. We are also watching the Olympics. Funny to think such a big event is going on only 4 hours north of us. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Just a few questions to ask some of these companies....

1) Can you please make a 'noiseless' microwave? We would actually love to use ours with no screaming from the boy.

2) Can you make potty seats big enough for a nearly 6yr old who has a very skinny butt? One that won't smoosh his manhood?

3) And while we are at it; can you also make a noiseless dishwasher? Not even the so called "quiet" ones are truly quiet. We should know. Our kid has supersonic hearing.

4) Whatever happened to the "Gerber Little Flakes" cereal?? That was the only effing cereal the boy would eat. With no screaming. Now we have been forced into the unknown and I am not sure I can mentally handle that right now.

5) Could we also get some pediasure that won't give him diarrhea?? When you have one of 'those' weeks (and all you ASD moms know 'those' weeks) it is a real toss-up between nutrition and stools. Stools has won everytime-because no one in our house wants to change a weeks worth of loose, runny, crapola.

6) Can you please make items that are GF/CF/SF a little more affordable????? I mean, without all that extra crap in there-why is it so expensive?? My brain says it should be cheaper...but that's just me. Isn't rice more abundant than say..cows?

7) And why the eff do public toilets have to flush so damm LOUD?? Hard to potty train the kid when the simple act of flushing the darn thing sends him out of his mind. All thanks to that super-duper hearing of his.

I would also like to thank the following companies for their brilliant products:
Safety First: Lovely light switch cover. No more masking tape.
First Years: The BEST damm baby gates EVER. They might just be indestructable. But you have to get the ones that bolt into the wall. Nothing else worked. Saved us from a nervous breakdown due to constant cabinet slamming.
Step2: Best toy kitchen. I have seen this at many an ASD house. Something about those darned cabinets!

Ramblings.....

I am sitting here watching Nick ever so slowly eat his dinner. Chicken, mac & cheese, and green beans. We have been here for almost an hour, and we are just finishing the chicken. We still have macaroni and beans to get through. No worries though. Tonight he can take his time. We had a relatively early dinner, so he should be fine as soon as he swallows the liquified chicken he has had in his mouth now for 20 minutes. A good trick we have learned: Giving him some applesauce seems to speed this process up a bit. As you can imagine, brushing his teeth when he is in one of these hoarding phases is simply a nightmare. Filled with lots of crying, and lots of liquified food spilling out of his mouth. I don't know why he does this. Most of the time we can figure out why he likes to do things, which leads to us understanding him better. This phase we just don't get. It comes and goes, and we never know when or how long it will last. We simply get through it. I hate, hate, hate it. I hate not being able to figure out WHY he is doing it. It gets so frustrating for both of us. Yesterday Mike told me Nick started breakfast at 8:30am, he finished at 10am.

Adding to the mayhem is our now disabled dog. He went outside last night just fine, came back limping, and has been limping all day. He is very old, so I am thinking it could be arthritis. He is able to bear some weight on his leg, but not much. He is actually doing better tonight than he was earlier today-but still hopping along slowly.

As if school, therapy, work, and dog were not enough; we have now added soccer to our schedule. Practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays 6pm-7:30pm. Right in the middle of Nick's therapy sessions. Mike and I will have to take turns going to practice with Michael. Life is all about finding a balance. We still struggle with balancing the needs of both boys. Nick needs so much more time & energy that most days we are mentally drained, and Michael just seems to blend in with it all. Soccer is HIS time in the parental spotlight.

IEP meeting..

We had Nick's IEP meeting last Friday. It went rather well, but what shocked me was the fact they said that he had no functional language. HUH?? They clearly saw the look of confusion on my face, and I told them "Umm, yes he does. He asks for things all the time at home." And even lately he has begun making his own choices. When I ask "Do you want milk or juice?" instead of just repeating "milk or juice?", he will think about it for a while and then say "Milk." or "Juice." So to tell me he has no functional language was quite the shock. This is a child who came to me the other day and told me to fix a car that he wanted to play with. He even brought me the car! Today he put his bowl on the counter and said he wanted fish crackers. The thing is, he may do all this at home-but in school it might be a different story. They jotted down all the notes I was providing them, and were astonished by what he does do at home. I told A (his BCBA) this and she had equal confusion. She made a note to go and visit his class and observe how he is in school, and maybe give the teachers some pointers.

Today we met with A to discuss re-vamping Nick's home program. He was breezing through so many programs in the fall, but has now seemed to hit a wall. Things are hit-or-miss with him. One day he will get it 100%, the next day it will be 10%. We are looking for more things to really motivate him. They are also going to start incorporating some of the Early Start Denver model into his programs. It is a less structured form of ABA and more natural. (from what I have been told) It goes through all the developmental phases of early childhood. Little things like following points, and being more "socially" tuned in. We hope to see a lot of progress in 2010. The best thing is right now he has already come so far! He is really starting to blossom. In HIS time.

First week in the new house..

We have completed our first week in the new 'crib', and it is starting to feel a little homey. The first few days last week we were going back and forth between the houses which left us no time to really set up the new house. We had to clean the old house to meet base requirements(that is a huge chore unto itself). I had to work, and we had a couple of days that we were quite "overbooked". Wednesday we hired a cleaning crew to finish up what we had started. All they really had to do was wash the walls, clean the floors and baseboards, and just straighten things up a bit. They did a wonderful job and ended up finishing everything 30 minutes prior to our final inspection on Friday. Which was supposed to be at 9am. Inspectors did not show up until 10am, and I had Nick's IEP meeting at 11am. UGH. Why is my life like this?? So overscheduled. We ended up passing our inspection; and making it to our appointment. Why is my child so into doors???!!! This is not just something that happens at home now, it happens everywhere. Everywhere we go has a door. A door that must be slammed open and closed at every possible opportunity. It is quite exhausting taking this child of mine out sometimes. Yesterday's Dollar Store trip was not quite tranquil. Nick thought it was fun to knock things off the shelves and watch them fall to the floor. Then he thought my reaction was uber funny. We quickly headed out of there to Target where I could put him in a basket and not have it look so funny. (Afterall, he is a gangly/tall nearly 6yr old-whose feet nearly drag on the floor in the front seat of a cart)He now rides in the back-all sprawled out and making lots of happy stimmy noises. People look regardless, so at least they can look at a happy stimmy child rather than a rambunctious child and one stressed out mommy. Right??

Anyway, I got my pictures up on the walls last night with lots of help from happy stimmy boy. He was jumpy, flappy, and had fun lining up the frames in the hallway. As I hung one, he would slide the rest on the floor to make room for the new one he took out of the box. Did I mention he was happy-stimmy child?? There was lots of jumping, screeching, and overall giddiness. It made a boring job rather fun actually. Where does he come up with this stuff??!! Never known anyone to be soooooo happy about hanging pictures. We had a couple of good laughs.

Today, we are off to Target again. I found a few inspirational quotes to put on the walls thatI like. We have a big empty wall right when you come into the house that can use something like that. I can use a little uplifting myself every now and then.

New House!!

We are finally getting all moved in to our new abode. Oddly enough, for someone who is not supposed to like change, Nick loved this house from the get go! He has his own room with all of his own stuff in it, and we have had ZERO problems with transitioning him. The only time he screamed: when we had to go back to the old house to get more of our stuff and to clean it. He hated seeing things in such disarray and made him uncomfortable. Sunday we were able to get respite care for him while we went to the old house to clean up. That way he was able to stay *home*. Both the boys LOVED riding in the U-Haul truck with daddy-that never seems to get old. To Nick, that was almost as good as riding the school bus!!LOL! He is such a little boy :)

Michael has his own "boy cave" with his video games, and he has even joined the 20th century with a tv in his room. We made it ten years with no tv in the kids' room, but he is getting older now and it is a step up. Can't treat him like his little bro. Little brother is never far away though-yesterday when Nick needed some comfort, he went to his big bro's room and laid on the floor listening to Michael and his TV. I think they both like having their own places to go to get away from it all. It seems to be working well so far.

We are still getting everything situated. Once we do I will post pictures. Just wanted to get on here and let everyone know that we are still here and doing fine :)

We Are Moving......

Into our new house tomorrow. We are picking up the U-Haul truck around 2:30, and we get the keys to our new house shortly after! I am so excited! There is a nice big playground RIGHT outside our back fence, which will be lovely for the boys in the summer. It has a garage!!! Yes, I am excited about a friggin' garage. We have only had carports. Not so lovely for storing things. We will also have a pantry-no more using up cabinet space for food items, and I think the most thing I am excited about....NO MORE BASEBOARD HEATERS!!! For all of my family who has never heard of these, since they live in WARM Florida, they suck. Just so you know. You can't put anything within 6 inches of these awful things, because, well, it is a fire hazard. Try designing a room around that shit. Michael had a blanket from his bed fall onto the heater in his room and it made a godawful smell that permeated the room for days. It didn't burn the blanket as it was not too hot, but warmed it enough to produce some "aromatherapy". Long live central heating!!!!

The boys are excited about moving. Nick has taken to placing certain fave items by the door as if to say "Don't forget this!" He knows something new is going on with all these boxes packed up, and the fact that his matress is now on the floor. He likes to explore new places, as long as he has a place to go for comfort if he needs it. Don't we all like our own "comfy" places?

We won't have internet/tv/phone until Tuesday. So, it might be a quiet weekend actually. Maybe we will break out some board games from our camper? Have a good weekend everyone!!

Something on my Mind...

There was a post on a bulletin board not too long ago. Click HERE to read the article. The story is two mothers were shopping in a local store. One of them had a baby, the other one had an older child. The mother with the baby goes and starts telling her baby "say Hi to the girl". The other mother, tells this mother "Don't let my child get near the baby". But, it was too late. The older child had hit the baby. Before this happened, the mom had said that her daughter has issues and not to let her near the baby. The baby was not seriously hurt, and cried for a few seconds and then was fine. As a parent who has a special needs child, I have been in these awkward situations. Having to apologize for my autistic son when he hit them. It has not happened a lot, but it has happened. Nick has no idea that what he is doing is wrong-he just knows that he is upset. Therefor, trying to tell him what he did was wrong is not going to compute right away. It takes time and lots of repetition. We also try to avoid these outbursts, but honestly, sometimes they just happen and you can't do anything about it. Such is life with having a disabled child. Now, I also have a typical child. And yes, if someone came up and hit him I would be mad. But, some of the responses to that post were just downright horrible. Suggesting that we put our children in "higher" care if we cannot control them, that they are a danger to the general public, and that we should leave them at home. Some question our parenting skills and say things like our children are one step away from being a felon or worse. These are mothers saying this. This is the kind of thing we have to deal with everytime we take Nick out. I can feel people staring at us. Wondering what is wrong with that little boy in the basket as he grunts and bangs constantly on its sides. They stare, and probably talk about him as they are in their cars going home. Sometimes it doesn't bug me. Sometimes it does. Yesterday, it bugged me. Then on the way home, my mind wandered to think of Fran Peek.

Fran's son, Kim Peek, was the inspiration for the movie "Rainman". Kim did not have Autism. Instead, he had Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum-with other impairments. He memorized every book he ever read, new every zip code in the US, among many other amazing feats. Doctors told his parents to put him in a home and forget about him. Kim never went to an institution. Instead, his parents loved him and raised him at home. After his mother passed away, his father, Fran, tended to his every need...every day. Since "Rainman" Kim has had many speaking engagements-accompanied by his father. He continued to learn social cues, and was even developing a sense of humor. Kim Peek died over the holidays. He did not die from his mental condition, he died from a heart attack. His father outlived him. Of course, this is every parents nightmare. But think just for one minute. Kim never had to be institutionalized. Fran never had to worry about who would care for his son when he passed. Never had to worry about the care he would recieve, or that other care givers would simply exploit Kim. Kim lived at home his entire life, and got to travel to world renowned places sharing with the public his amazing abilities. People like that give me the strength I need to make it through another day. The world has lost a great mind, and a great person. We can sure use more Fran and Kim Peeks in our world.

The Power of "NO"...

Last week we noticed that Nick was shaking his head from side to side while sitting at the dinner table. I had put some food in front of him and he began shaking his head. We just thought "Isn't that nice, another sensory stim, ok Nick let's move on now" We thought that, well, because a lot of what Nick does is purely sensory related. From smacking things, to rubbing his head on the carpet, to grinding his teeth. All of these have been phased in and out of our lives at different times. We don't really give it a second thought anymore. I am realizing though that maybe we should. Case in point, the head shaking. The other day, Diane and I had a chance to talk in the hallway while Nick was on a few minute break. She brought up something quite extraordinary. She got the impression that Nick was shaking his head "NO". She would ask him to do a certain task-and he would shake his head. He had done this several times throughout their session, all of them towards being asked to do something. In the few days prior to her and I speaking, we were starting to realize that Nick might just in fact be doing this. For those who have a disabled child, we often buzz around caring for them just as we had when they were an infant. Most of the time we don't even realize we are doing it. Time seems to stand still in that respect. They eat, drink, wear, etc. whatever it is we put in front of them (or feed them by hand) often with little to no protest. NO is a powerful thing. It let's someone know that YOU do not WANT what they are giving you. It let's them know that YOU indeed have a voice and opinion about things being done. It let's them know that YOU are a thinking, feeling, living person. For nearly 6 years Nick has not been able to say No. He has had to be happy with what was given to him. Nick, mommy and daddy are slowly getting a "clue". You are nearly six, and deserve to be treated as such. I am afraid you are discovering girls...in your own way, but also like so many other little boys. Yesterday you learned about Mickey Mouse. You are getting tired of Goldfish crackers for snack, you now like Mandarin Oranges. You love 80's music-and even sing a few songs. Instead of ripping my magazine to shreds, you carried it around for days looking at all the pictures. All four of us are learning on this journey my dear boy, and we are all better people because of you. Don't hold it against us Nick, we can't help being "neuro-typical".

Happy New Year!!

Another year has gone by, and actually I am happy that it is done. I spent a lot of 2009 away from my boys and I hope that 2010 will leave me home more. We move into our new house in just a couple of weeks! Not anxious to have to pack up all our stuff and try to move with two kiddos, but at least this time we won't have to deal with feeding a newborn every 3 hours. When we moved into this house Nick was just a wee baby. With every new year it brings new promise. New skills gained for our Nick and new hope for what he can achieve in the next 12 months. He has gone from eating microwaveable meals consisting of lasagna and ravioli--to eating steak, pork chops, veggies, mashed potatoes, eggs, bacon, and anything else put in front of him. We have even managed some gummi candy, and a chocolate chip cookie. He follows directions, is counting up to 20, learning to draw shapes, and even learning to sight read! Today him and Michael were playing together and getting along. It was such a great thing to see. I often dream about my boys playing together. Except, most of the time it is just that...a dream. In my dreams Nick talks, plays, and runs around like any little boy should. He is not restricted by anything. I see them chasing each other with Nerf guns and laughing. Then the dream is over, and I wake up to reality. Except today, my dream WAS a reality. For that, I am thankful. I am also thankful to have had another year with two amazing kids and a wonderful husband. Happy New Year!! I hope 2010 brings everyone love, health, and happiness.

Pictures from a wonderful day!!

And for the first time Nick actually opened his presents on his own! It was also a day with no fighting...that was very shortlived. They were back to their usual antics this morning.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

I cannot believe how fast this year has flown by! We have been busy little elves this week. Filling our days with lounging around, staying up late, and lots of family bonding time. Nicholas has dicovered the joys of emptying out all the dresser drawers when he gets upset--hence the lots of family bonding time spent re-folding clothes. We managed to get to the park this week once. And we have also enjoyed running errands and chatting with our neighbors. Our Christmas present to ourselves tomorrow: 2 newly installed baby gates. The fancy schmancy kind. These buggers are drilled into the walls. No prying down the gate by determined five year old hands. All closets are essentially blocked off. Our house is becoming increasingly locked up. We have locks on the washer and dryer, and window locks. Coupled with all the baby gates, no one can get IN or OUT for that matter. Which, is just how we like it.

Needless to say, the holiday break has thrown Nick a little out of whack. I now know how people can claim "temporary insanity". I now know how it feels. Spending any length of time with a 5yr old having numerous meltdowns a day will do that to a person. I had to go to the post office today...don't ask me how I got there...I think I was borderline delirious. I was so out of it that I even took with me the cause of my mental fog. Nick. He was in fine form in the constraints of his "smallish" umbrella stroller. His feet drug on the pavement so I had to *wheely* him all the way back to the car; as he refused to put his feet up. Yes, I dug out the stroller from the abyss of the shed. A mama has to keep her sanity. If I had not used it, surely there would have been a huge line at the post office, Nick would have had a meltdown and socked some poor soul in the back or rear, he would have been trying to escape out to the parking lot, and I did not want to revisit any of our numerous outings in which we were ill prepared(Safeway, DMV, his old school, etc.) Of course, he was a perfect little angel during this trip.

The holiday break did spark a little creative side of me though. One night I was able to come up with our very own version of the "12 Days of Christmas". Enjoy.

12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
ONE broken coffee pot
On the second day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
TWO busy therapists
On the third day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
THREE huge meltdowns
On the fourth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
FOUR new holes in the wall
On the fifth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
FIVE whole words
On the sixth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
SIX broken closet doors
On the seventh day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
SEVEN hours of screaming
On the eighth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
EIGHT burned out lights
On the ninth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
NINE days of tantrums
On the tenth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
TEN torn up window screens
On the eleventh day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
ELEVEN broken cabinets
On the twelvth day of Christmas my autie son gave to me:
TWELVE lovely smiles

Doors....

What is it with Nick and Doors??!! Seriously. We have numerous doors that are either cracked or falling off their hinges. Trying to keep him from doing this is a herculean effort. Every fricken room has at least two doors (closet door and entry door), with the kitchen and bathrooms having even more with cabinets. This has been going on in earnest for over a month now. Leave. the effing. doors. alone! This has been the one thing lately that is literally driving me insane. We get done distracting him from one door, and he just moves on to another door somewhere else in the house. It is neverending. Doors are everywhere. They must be open. They must be closed. They must be slammed against the walls when you open them. Some have the added bonus of making unusual noises as they slam against the baseboard heaters. You can imagine what repeated slamming does to a door. If you can imagine that, then imagine what repeated slamming is doing to my sanity.

Home Again....

I am home again after another trip. This time I went to St. Louis for a 4-day class to learn a new computer program we are using at work. I got home around 8pm last night, and Mike had ordered a pizza. YAY!! After spending a week in the "flatlands", I was happy when we flew right by my Mt. Rainier. It stands majestically above all the clouds showing her snowy white top. It is beautiful to fly by,even in the dark. To me, when I see that volcano, it means that I am HOME. Back to my three guys, and back to a routine. It's funny how we think that people like Nick are the weird ones who are stuck on their routines. Doesn't your routine during the day provide you a little comfort? Are we not a little anxious when we are forced out of our "comfort zone"? I know I am. I am simply a nervous wreck on the inside until whatever it is passes. When I go somewhere on a trip, I like to get everything settled and put away in my room so it feels like I belong there. Nick, although a little more severe than most, likes to feel the same way. His routine is comforting and he likes knowing what to expect. One of the reasons we have a camper is so that he feels comfortable. Nick hated going to a different hotel room everynight when we traveled. He did not know what was where, or even where he would sleep. Seems silly to most of us, but for him this caused him great stress. He likes to know "the lay of the land". He LOVES our camper. He knows where he sleeps in there, where he eats all his meals, and where his toys are. So even though his routine may be interrupted by a camping trip, he is not stressing over a "new" place. Don't we all like the feel of a familiar place like our own homes? I know I do. For me, there is really no place like home.

Back to Normal.....Almost.

After 4 chaotic days of Thanksgiving break, we were looking forward to getting back to a normal schedule on Monday. But, as luck would have it, that did not happen. Mike had gotten Nick all dressed and groomed for school and they were waiting outside for the school bus. As I have said before, this is the absolute highlight of Nick's day. He LOVES the bus. So, when it did not arrive on Monday he was completely upset. Mike called the transportation people and inquired about the whereabouts of the bus. They said that it was a substitute driver and that they were here to pick up Nick around 10:45-10:50. Mike said that was not true because they had been waiting outside since 10:40. They said that they would send another bus to come get him, but by that time Mike was like "What's the point? He would only be in school for just over an hour." That threw off Nick's whole day. As he has gotten older, he is getting more rigid in his schedules. He likes them. It takes him a long time to recover from a schedule change. And until he does, he makes our lives a lot harder.

Tuesday was a little better. Nick went to school as planned. But, before he went to school, he managed to peel off part of the baseboard in the kids' bathroom. He also managed to peel off a layer of paint and more damage to the drywall underneath. Another door had also been taken off it's hinges. So, we called the housing office to have them repair our house. They came and fixed up the bathroom, and a couple of doors and screens. We still have several closet doors that are in dire need of repair. He just can't stop. We watch him constantly, and even his therapists are having a hard time keeping him away from doors. We are at our wits end with this. Then, just after we called the housing office for the repairs, we get a call asking if we want to move into another house on base. This *new* house is completely remodeled, and has a garage! YES! It is one-story, so we would not need to be worried about anyone falling down stairs, and it also has central heating. I remember central heating...how nice it was not to have to worry about anything burning up or melting if it is too close! We have had baseboard heating for 10 years now, and always have to check in the boys' room to make sure no toys, clothes, bed spreads, or anything touch the heater in the winter. Nick also won't have them to stand on. YAY us! We are scheduled to move in sometime in Jan.

This week-Nick ate bananas! What is even better is that he is now picking up his food with his hands! We are talking broccoli, chicken, bananas, pot roast, etc. He is eating all of it. He is also using a fork. It is just so good to see him picking up these things with his hands and feeding himself. He has really come a long way! Even better yet is he is now curious about what we are eating! Michael had a banana yesterday and Nick saw it. He proceeded to come into the kitchen screaming. We asked him if he wanted a banana, and if he wanted to eat. He went right to his chair and waited for it. I cut up half a banana and gave it to him. He dived right in and was happy. He is doing that more and more. He is getting frustrated at not having the words to express himself. We are working with him on this, and so are his therapists. One day we will hear what Nick wants.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving. Hope you are enjoying your holiday with your families. The turkey is in the oven, I am baking a Gluten Free cake with Dairy Free frosting for dessert, and we are just relaxing as a family and enjoying each others' company. Have a wonderful day and safe travels.

Challenging Days....

After a week off milk, I was happy to report that Nick had improved in just about everything. His poops were finally normal--been waiting almost 6 yrs for that little gem. Then Saturday hit like a ton of bricks. Started out just like any other day and Nick was happy. We ate breakfast and got dressed. We went over to the neighbors house. We came home. That is where Happy Nick ended. He was replaced by pissed off Nick. In one instant while I was cooking his lunch, he got upset and launched his sippy cup. The cup flew in the direction of our espresso pot. The next thing I heard is glass shattering all over the floor and the counter. Nick just laughed at the commotion. I had had enough. I sent him to his room, although I don't think he understood why. The grocery store was no better. He threw a tantrum and started knocking things off the shelf and hitting me. I told him no the first two times. The third time I said no and pinched him on his cheek. It got his attention and he began to soothe himself by chomping/sucking on his thumb. By the time I got home, I was done. Needless to say I had about 2-3 servings of cookie dough ice cream that night. He has a fixation on doors again. He has broken the door on our laundry closet-it is completely off track and has a chunk of wood missing at the top. He has cracked one of our kitchen cabinets almost clean off. It is now held together with two nails. He has damaged a few other cabinets, but not as bad. Somedays I really feel that I just cannot take it anymore. The constant stimming, and just everything else that goes along with him. Then there are days like today...when he greets me at the door with a big smile on his face.

I bought some Pedia Sure at the store so that maybe Nick could get in some extra calories. The day after he had some, he was back to mushy stools. I looked at the package and it was lactose free and gluten free, but still contained some milk based ingredients. Guess I won't be buying that anymore. One day Nick, mommy will get it right!