Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Don't be fooled by this happy demeanor....

That is what I am having to tell myself today. Nick has been in a happy mood all day long. The weather was nice out, so hubby let him wander around in our fenced in backyard. Nick was happy as a clam. All of this talking and smiling is what has lulled us into that false sense of "all is well" in the past. This is the Nicholas I want him to be..this is the Nicholas HE wants to be. Happy, playful, talkative(even if he was repeating "Nick don't get the vacuum!" over and over :) ) asking to be tickled, coming up to us for fist pumps(which is uber cute by the way!), playing with his toys instead of thrashing about the house destroying our doors. In an instant yesterday all that was gone. Replaced with screaming, throwing toys, hitting me, and just all out losing control. I spent 30 min just sitting with him on the couch. Nick was curled up in a ball in my arms and we just sat there. I was happy that he was being cuddly, but I could have done without the screaming and throwing.

Happy days such as this tend to make me forget about the bad days. They make me think "Oh I can handle this", "It's not that bad". Then WHAMMO! We get hit with several really bad days in a row where nothing is going right. My parents did tell me that they would possibly help to buy him a squeeze machine; since he really seems to like pressure.

I took my parents to the airport yesterday morning. Had to get up at 3am in order to get to the airport by 5am. I came back home, put some mini-cinnamon buns in the oven for Michael, got him up and ready for school, then I passed out on the couch until around 11am. Not much housework got done yesterday I tell ya.

Monday, March 15, 2010

He Does What he Can

I have not posted so much lately due to us having family visiting. It has been wonderful having an extra set of hands around here to help with things around the house, as well as the kids. I now know that I could get really used to having someone like a nanny to help with things like calming Nick down from a meltdown, or tending to dinner while I get some time to do some small cleaning. Having someone who will clean up the dirty dishes after dinner while I get the kids a bath has been divine. Of course my mother did not have to do this-I did not make her; but she did it anyway just to help. We of course had plenty of time doing other things too. Taking Michael out for an afternoon; just him. He got some Legos, some new rollerblades, and we went to see the movie "Tooth Fairy". Nick also got his very own day in which he was allowed to pick out any toy he wanted. There was no apparent limit, and the kid could not have been happier. He was all smiles on his day and he KNEW it was his day. He said first thing in the morning-HAPPY.

We have one more day with them before they head back to Florida. They have been a huge support system for us regarding Nicholas. "He just does what he can" my mom says. My mom has been very supportive in getting more help for Nick. More help as in possible medication. I have been toying with this idea for a few months now. Only because I cannot find any correlation/cause for some of Nick's severe stimming/anxiety attacks. He gets very tense and just seems to go completely wild. He will be like this for a couple days, then he will be completely the opposite. When he is not this way he is doing remarkable things. Like looking at us when we call his name, following two step directions, speaking to us, requesting things from us, and just all around able to focus. When he is not like this, he is stimming so severely that it is impossible to get anything out of him. There is also a huge gap between what he does at school, and what he does at home. There is just too much difference between his "good days/bad days". I had hoped it would not resort to this; but if it will help him then it is worth looking in to. I was just hoping he would not be that severe to need medication-but I cannot deny it any longer. The calm and relaxed Nicholas is more lucid. He is happy-and he knows it. He is able to communicate better and enjoy himself. The stimmy/anxious/tense Nick does not enjoy anything. He is not "there", and is not happy. I just want something to help take his edginess off. I have been e-mailing his doctor, and we have an appointment set for 1 April.

Wish us Luck....