Friday, July 24, 2009

More Changes=More Meltdowns

These days the slightest change can send Nick into a full blown meltdown. If a toy is moved, if me or Mike step out of the room(I cannot even go to the bathroom), or even just out of the car-he completely loses it. We are talking total shutdown,screaming,screeching,clawing,drop to the floor, and our personal favorites;smacking and throwing. This also happens every time he gets a bath. He has become afraid of most things that deal with water. He also hates trucks, big RV's, and busses. Yesterday Mike was outside lowering our awning on the trailer and Nick was outside with him. I was in the trailer doing something and suddenly Mike comes in and shouts "You need to go get Nick right now." "Where is he?" I asked. "He took off that way when a big truck came by". Just then I heard Nick screaming at the top of his lungs about two camp sites over. I called after him, and he did respond by making his way back to the trailer. He slowly began to calm down as time went on and regained his composure further by a nice long sit around the campfire.

It just totally sucks. He has made so much progress, but no one sees that outside of the people that know him. Everyone else sees the kid who screams in the pool, screams in the bath tub, hits himself and shouts when upset, or worse; hits an unknowing passer by. He knows our "turf" at home and is familiar with all the places we go-so he rarely gets this bad. But in an unfamiliar store, he lets loose and looks like that "typical bratty child" that everyone says needs a good spanking. The heart break comes in waves. It is difficult to see kids his age and younger speaking circles around Nick, trying to engage him, or staring at him because he is acting strange. His actual diagnosis we can handle. Just the fall out from it really sucks. I don't know if it will be better a year or two from now, I certainly hope so. The vacation really has gone well considering all of this. It is just that it becomes so blatantly obvious that we still have so much work ahead of us, and that Nick is so far behind. Will he ever catch up? Or even go as far as to be able to work through his autism? There are just still too many questions concerning his overall development that we just don't know.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

What We've Been up to.....



Going Horseback Riding

Eating Ice Cream

Visiting a Petting Zoo

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Only A Few Meltdowns...

We spent much of the day outside today. Going on nice long walks throughout the park trails and we even made it down to the river. Earlier this morning we went to the pool and that is where Nick had his first meltdown. He is wary of the water-so he screamed every time we got him in the pool. At one point he was actually doing pretty good holding on to daddy; then he got splashed on by another kid and that was the end of it. All other attempts to get him in the water were met with screaming. Nick did have a bit of fun just playing on the steps in the shallow end-so it was not a total wash out. Michael and I had fun playing games under water. We came back around noon and had lunch and a nap. Apparently Nick did not like mommy taking a nap and Mike said there were a few objects hurled in my direction. We got up and then went into Leavenworth to do some sightseeing. Since it was hot out, we splurged and had some ice cream. Mike had White Chocolate, Michael had Lemon, and I had Triple Chocolate Birthday Cake. All of them were oh so good. I might go for the White Chocolate if we go there again. Nick of course wanted none of it. Oh well-he was with us and that is all that matters. He had fun playing with the little colored ice cream spoons that they gave him. We walked around letting Nick decide which shops to go in. The only one that was picked out for him was the shop full of Christmas trees and decorations. The trees were all decorated and lit up-so he absolutely loved it. Lots of flapping in that store..LOL! I am hoping that Nick really likes these little trips. I know the changes are rough for him-which could be the reason for some of his meltdowns; but I hope that he has fun. It seems like he does. Just walking around with him doing his "silly talk" makes us smile because we KNOW then that he is having fun. I am just wondering what memories he will have from these experiences. And if he will ever be able to share them with us. I do think time to be just a kid is beneficial for him. Just as it is for Michael. We have no set schedules out here. No place we have to be. We have just done whatever came to mind. Come to think of it, Nick has coped wonderfully with all the changes. What we think of as relaxing with no schedule, Nick is anxious because he cannot predict what happens next. Even with all that, I am hoping that he is having a good time.

We went for a long walk tonight. It is peaceful. You can hear the river flowing below us, and the crackling of camp fires. I love the smell of the burning wood. Watching the embers float up in the sky as the fire crackles. Watching my boys get mesmerized by the flames. It is just so much darned fun! I just bathed Nick(he was dirty as anything with all the running around and climbing we did) and put him down in his bunk. He is once again PASSED OUT. I am enjoying these days-they won't last long at all!

Monday, July 20, 2009


We are enjoying a whole week with no appointments or therapies and getting some much needed relaxation!

The boys love the camper and for them this is the ultimate summer vacation. We are spending 5 days at a KOA campground and the boys have just loved it. Last night we made a fire in the fire pit and roasted marshmallows. We sat around the campfire and told some funny stories that we remembered, and just had a good time. Nick liked the fire and looked so cute sitting in his little lawn chair watching it. We took a nice long walk and listened to Nick jabbering and laughing the whole way. They both had fun on the nice big playground, and for once, Nick looked like any other kid out there. He did not perseverate on the spinny wheel like he used to. He slid down slides, and a major accomplishment was when he climbed up the rungs all by himself! Each time he ran by us he had a big ole grin on his face. He was having a ball. He had such a good time that when it was time for bed, he passed out in 5 minutes!! That has NEVER happened!! This morning we all spent some time in the pool and did a little basking in the sun. Will have some pictures up soon. Today we plan on getting in a little tourist action(Bavarian town we have never visited before), and maybe another campfire. They also have plenty of stuff to do here at the KOA for the kids-so we might check that out as well. Have a great day everyone!!