Friday, July 24, 2009

More Changes=More Meltdowns

These days the slightest change can send Nick into a full blown meltdown. If a toy is moved, if me or Mike step out of the room(I cannot even go to the bathroom), or even just out of the car-he completely loses it. We are talking total shutdown,screaming,screeching,clawing,drop to the floor, and our personal favorites;smacking and throwing. This also happens every time he gets a bath. He has become afraid of most things that deal with water. He also hates trucks, big RV's, and busses. Yesterday Mike was outside lowering our awning on the trailer and Nick was outside with him. I was in the trailer doing something and suddenly Mike comes in and shouts "You need to go get Nick right now." "Where is he?" I asked. "He took off that way when a big truck came by". Just then I heard Nick screaming at the top of his lungs about two camp sites over. I called after him, and he did respond by making his way back to the trailer. He slowly began to calm down as time went on and regained his composure further by a nice long sit around the campfire.

It just totally sucks. He has made so much progress, but no one sees that outside of the people that know him. Everyone else sees the kid who screams in the pool, screams in the bath tub, hits himself and shouts when upset, or worse; hits an unknowing passer by. He knows our "turf" at home and is familiar with all the places we go-so he rarely gets this bad. But in an unfamiliar store, he lets loose and looks like that "typical bratty child" that everyone says needs a good spanking. The heart break comes in waves. It is difficult to see kids his age and younger speaking circles around Nick, trying to engage him, or staring at him because he is acting strange. His actual diagnosis we can handle. Just the fall out from it really sucks. I don't know if it will be better a year or two from now, I certainly hope so. The vacation really has gone well considering all of this. It is just that it becomes so blatantly obvious that we still have so much work ahead of us, and that Nick is so far behind. Will he ever catch up? Or even go as far as to be able to work through his autism? There are just still too many questions concerning his overall development that we just don't know.


Carrie Montag said...

I came accross your blog, and just wanted to let you know that you are a great mom. I am sure you dont hear that enough, but as a mom of a special needs child myself, I know a great and attentive mom when I see one. I wanted to pass along my friends website ( She is very active in the Autism community, and knows Jenny McCarthy personally.

Take care of yourself, and please know that we are praying for your family.

Carrie(Oconomowoc, WI)

Amy said...

Hi Carrie! I went to Ian's site and he was and is such a precious little angel. My warmest sympathies go out to your friend and her family. Hope you are having a good day! We have had a run of good days lately-not wanting to jinx it.