Sunday, May 13, 2007

Ups and Downs

Just when I start to feel ok about things with Nick, something brings me back to our reality. I remember when Michael was three I took him to see Spiderman-he was so excited! He went to see it a number of times, and became obsessed with him as well as some other comic book heroes. I cried again today because Nick just cannot enjoy something like that. Somedays I feel sad because he cannot relate to what other three year olds are doing or saying. Yesterday we went to the park while we waited for Michael to get out of school. There were three other kids there around the same age as Nick-one was a year younger. They were worlds ahead of him-even the little one. He was looking at his mommy,pointing things out to her,even conversing with her. Then I looked at Nick. He was under the little wooden platform,playing silently with the rocks. We work so hard with Nick-just to do the smallest things. Nick works hard too. How must it be for him to have all these demands placed on him that he does not understand. Our world makes little sense to him. I liken it to when I was stationed in Japan. I could not speak the language, the culture was foreign, and that made for a hard time communicating. I was only there for two years, Nick will be there for a lifetime.

Mike was excited today. He told me that he and Nick had a "conversation" while sitting on the couch. It went something like this:

Nick: Night Night time
Mike: No, it is not night night time Nick.
Nick: Night Night

That was his first attempt at having a "conversation" with anyone! Bless him, he is TRYING so hard!! Mike relished this little peek into the workings of Nick's mind-and we are hoping for more peeks every day.

Our sessions with him are still a little shaky at best. Today my main focus was on the PECS and getting him to understand that he can get things he wants with them. I have increased it to two pictures now and we are learning to choose between the two. I am also working on getting him to imitate actions such as clapping. I feel somtimes we are trying for the impossible-we demand things of him and his natural response is to retreat. If he does not understand he stims like crazy. It is a constant battle of trying to re-direct him and keep him focused. While trying to do the PECS at snack times he shouts in jibberish and flaps his hands almost constantly. Today,he got so stimulated with me clapping that he preferred to do his happy dance and run around the room. I had to physically make him clap his hands-and half the time I am not even sure he was paying attention. Oh well, tomorrow is another day right??