Saturday, July 01, 2006

What does his future hold??

It is days like today that get me down. There we were in McDonalds eating our lunch and watching Michael play on the indoor playground. I say Michael because Nicholas does not play. At least not like normal kids anyway. Nick just stood there, absolutely frozen in the middle of the aisle. There were other toddlers all around him, yet he never noticed them. He just stood there twirling his straw. I know people were looking at him, and it made me want to cry for him. It also brought out a protective side of me. The side of me that just wants to scoop my child up and protect him from the evil "normal" world. We wonder what his future will be like? I know that at only 2 yrs old it is still hard to tell, but we think about it more on days like today. Will he ever be able to live on his own? Will he have to live in a group home? Will he be able to tell me if he is hurt or in pain, happy or sad?? I know that he is still young and has made big improvements with the therapies he is getting, and I am sure he will progress to speaking eventually. It is just days like today that are hard. When you get a glimpse of what a "normal" life is, you suddenly miss what you never had.

Like I said before, Nick has progressed with therapy. He has done so well in fact that he starts going to a classroom after the holidays. (The center is closed all of next week) He has also learned how to open doors! Nothing is safe anymore! We went out and bought door locks and toilet bowl locks today and installed them. One of Nick's favorite things to do is put things in the toilet. He has put toys, sippy cups, and anything else he thinks needs a washing in there. We also have to put pants on him now at night because he will take his diaper off.

Last night was a cute night. You can see the picture above! Michael and Nick slept in the same bed! Michael simply adores Nicholas and at one point told me I was "breaking his heart" by moving Nick to his own bed. He was in tears and held his hands over his chest. What else was I to do other than let them sleep together? Nick seems to need his brother in the room in order to sleep. Nick looks up to Michael like any little brother, he tries to imitate his moves and loves it when Michael chases him around the house.

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