Thursday, September 20, 2012

It Hits Like a Ton of Bricks.....

Things had been going along really well for the last two weeks or so. We were settling into our new normal routine. I was finding the right balance with my school work, and house work; and so were the kids. Things were going in the right direction. Then Monday came, and WHAMMO! We were thrust back into the horrible world of self injury and aggression. Nick came home from school with two huge bruises on his thighs. I looked in his backpack for the daily report to see what had happened. No Report. Damn! His aide must have been out. He was fine the rest of the afternoon, so I had hopes that Tuesday would go better. Tuesday morning he was in a great mood. In fact, he has been in a great mood nearly every morning since school started. That gives me such peace. That no matter how his day seems to go, he is always happy to GO to school--that was not the case at his previous school. He came home Tuesday and the bruises on his legs were worse than they were the day prior. What the Hell??!! And again, no note to say what happened. That evening something made Nick very mad and he attacked me. Days like this hit like a ton of bricks when we have had so many good days in a row. It is like a swift punch in the gut when you least expect it. A reminder, that once again, Autism is in charge and we merely try to control the damage.

So yesterday after school, I sent an e-mail to Nicks behavioral specialist at the school. We need help. He is getting too big and too strong for me to control when he gets like this. I am just trying to defend myself against his smacks, kicks, head butts, etc. I restrain him, but that just seems to anger him more, and then he starts biting himself because he cannot do anything else. So, he is screaming, kicking, and now bleeding, while I am trying to hold him in an attempt to prevent him from smacking his head-either with his hands, or smacking it into the bed frame, and wondering why the F*ck my child has to go through this?! Anyway, the e-mail has been making the rounds through his behavioral specialist, mental health specialist, psychologist, and his teacher. We might need to look at different medications, I asked them if they could maybe show me how they handle his aggressions so we could do the same at home, we just need help. He had 68 incidences of Self injury on Monday. 68!!!! I can't stand to see him like this. Why does he hurt himself??!! And these are not pain related. It may sound absurd, but just like a baby has different cries, Nick has different meltdowns. There is a difference between them.  Yesterday was a good day. He had zero incidences of self injury, and no meltdowns....either at school or home. I was relieved to hear that he had a good day, but I still want to see if we can get this under control before he does something in a rage that ends up being a serious injury. (and just for reference, he has ripped drawers off a dresser and thrown them in one of his rages). There will be a team meeting next week to discuss what can be done. I will let you all know what comes of the meeting.

In other news, we are now getting Nick's diapers covered by Medicaid! That will save us some cash. We finally resigned ourselves to using this service since potty training still seems too far away. We will never give up trying, but until then, he will get free diapers. We have bigger issues to concentrate on now; but still practice with making him sit on the potty. Small steps....