Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Breathing Again.......

I think it is safe to say that for the better part of the last 9 months or so, we have been under some sort of siege with Nick's moods. Outbursts were becoming ever more frequent and aggressive. He could go from happy-to pissed off in the blink of an eye. There were many days when this happened every hour, every 30 minutes, all day long. Sometimes we knew what set him off, sometimes we didn't-and would wander around asking him "what happened?" only to be slapped, or have something hurled in our direction. I was always afraid it would strike while driving and he would launch his sippy cup. That was my fear always when he had a drink in the car. Or even a toy. Or sometimes even Nick himself. He would be in his room, curled up on the floor of his closet screaming. He would be completely unable to function, and this could go on for hours. Days like this his therapy would consist of just trying to snap him out of it. His therapists were mainly just trying to control the damage. He banged his head, hit himself, bit himself, hit his therapists, pinched them, screamed, shouted, slammed doors, overturned chairs, you name it. To see him like this was heartbreaking. Then, after a few days, he would be completely the opposite. Saying words, eye-contact, joint attention, laughs, smiles, everything. Then, suddenly a few days later we were back to hell.

I came to the conclusion that we needed more help. I wanted Nick to be comfortable in his own skin. I wanted it to just stop. I contacted his doctor. He had not seen Nick in more than a year, and I explained to him all that was happening. He gave us a prescription for Risperdal. A very low dose (.05mg), just to take his 'edge' off. We saw results immediately.

-instead of stimming all through dinner; Nick was able to sit at the table and just eat like the rest of us.
-his toe-walking and stiffening have decreased dramatically; my baby is no longer stuck in a stimming cycle. He still stims, but he is relaxed.
-little things like me driving him to school used to cause him so much anxiety that neither of us enjoyed it. Yesterday, he only whimpered twice.
-he talks more.
-he is happy, and he is comfortable.
-Our stress has decreased dramatically as well. We can breathe again. My shoulders and neck no longer hurt.
-We are enjoying our son.
-Significantly less yelling and tension in the household.
That is worth it. To have a Happy Home. A peaceful home.


Emma said...


I just wanted to let you know that we are also using a low dose of Risperdal. I haven't seen huge changes at home but school reports a big difference. My guy hasn't been on it long so we will see what the nest few weeks bring.
I am glad you are finding some peace - I know what you are going through.

Anonymous said...

We also entered into the relm of meds last year. I had always sworn i would not medicate Gage. But he had gotten so aggressive with his sister, I had to do something, it wasn't fair to her. We too tried Risperdal, and it worked well, however he started gaining weight and then began developing gynocomastia (look out for this) so we then switched to Abilify, the transition was very rough but we too are begining to breathe again. He's happier, and so are we. It took a while for us to get of the stigma I had about meds, after all our kids deserve to feel happy and relaxed too! Hope all continues to go well!