Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Sometimes Autism just sucks

This is just one of those evenings where I just need to write. Sometimes Autism just plain sucks. Soccer practice was just such an event. Nicholas was happy for about 10 min-until the parents of about 15 kids showed up,and all the commotion that brings. Even outdoors it is too much for him. He spent the entire hour and 5 minutes of practice screaming. I tried everything-his cup,some snacks,his spinny toy,letting him out of the stroller,letting him BACK in the stroller,holding him,bouncing him,finally I had had enough and the last straw was strapping him in his carseat and just shutting the doors. There is only so much screaming a person can take. It continued when we got home-he wanted nothing to do with dinner,or anybody else. He just continued to scream. I honestly felt like an outcast today among all the other moms on the field. There they were, able to talk among themselves,their children sat quietly and colored with each other,they were all so "normal". Here I had strapped my child down in his carseat because he could not contain himself. None of the other moms would even come near us. Their kids were all playing with one another so peacefully,mine could not stand anyone coming near him. Another thing is SLEEP. This is something Nick finds hard to do recently. He has always been such a good sleeper,but recently he is horrible. He gets up frequently, and it takes him hours to go to sleep. He was up last night at 10pm spinning his shoes;in the dark. The thought of drugging him has crossed my mind I must say. He does not nap during the day,so I know he is tired. He cannot ignore his obsessions and just sleep. I love him to death,but days like these are very hard.

No comments: